My Life — The Way It Turned Out

When I look back at my life, sometimes I wonder how one person can live through so many different versions of herself.

I was once a young girl in a boarding school in the snowy hills. I still remember those years—the cold, the mountains, the feeling of being away from home and growing up surrounded by people who were not family. Those years shaped me in many ways. I learnt to manage on my own. I learnt to adjust. I learnt not to expect someone to always be there to hold my hand.

Then came college, and with it came the age when you start believing that you understand life.

I thought I understood love too.

The truth is, I didn’t really know what love was. I was in love with the idea of love. I believed that if two people chose each other, everything else would somehow fall into place.

So I fought my family. I rebelled. I wanted to marry the person I had chosen, and I was determined that nobody would stop me.

I wish I could go back and talk to that young girl.

I would tell her, “Don’t be in such a hurry. Don’t confuse wanting to be loved with actually being loved. Wait. See the person clearly. See how he treats you when he doesn’t get his way. See how he treats you when nobody is watching. See whether you feel safe, respected and valued.”

But young people don’t listen to older versions of themselves.

I got married.

And the strangest part is that I didn’t even have to wait very long to become disillusioned. The very same night, I knew something was terribly wrong.

I had fought everyone for this marriage, and yet almost immediately I found myself wondering what I had done.

There was no dramatic escape. No magic door through which I could walk out and start again.

Life simply continued.

And one day became another, then another year, and eventually another decade.

Fifty years.

Sometimes I cannot believe I have lived fifty years of married life feeling, in one way or another, that I made the wrong choice.

But life doesn’t stop just because your heart is disappointed.

I had to work.

I wanted my own money because money meant independence to me. It meant that I didn’t have to beg or ask for everything. It meant knowing that I could take care of myself. So I worked, learned, adapted and kept going.

Work gave me something important—my own identity.

And also that I was a mother.

Three daughters.

Three beautiful girls.

For them, I became a different person altogether.

I could tolerate things for myself, but when it came to my children, I became fierce. I wanted to protect them from the things I had experienced. I wanted them to grow up knowing their worth. I wanted them to have choices.

I don’t know whether I always succeeded.

No mother does.

But I know that I fought for them with everything I had.

Whatever else happened in my life, my daughters are the part of it that I will always be proud of.

They are my three beautiful pieces of happiness.

As the years passed, I also learnt something else—how to develop a thick skin.

When you hear enough criticism, enough taunts, enough instructions about how you should do everything, enough unnecessary drama and enough attempts to control little things in your everyday life, eventually something inside you changes.

You stop reacting to everything.

You learn to say nothing.

You learn to walk away.

You learn that not every accusation deserves an answer.

And you learn that sometimes keeping your peace is more important than proving that you are right.

But having a thick skin doesn’t mean that you don’t feel.

It only means that you have become very good at hiding what you feel.

Even now, there are days when I am exhausted by the constant need for attention, the arguments, the accusations and the stories told about me to other people.

It is particularly painful when someone takes the life you have lived and tells it differently to anyone who will listen.

I sometimes wonder whether people believe those stories.

And then I remind myself that I know the truth.

I know who I was.

I know what I did.

I know what I sacrificed.

I know what I endured.

Nobody else’s version of my life can change the life I actually lived.

Now I am old.

And perhaps this is the strangest stage of all.

There is no great ambition left to chase. No career ladder to climb. No children to raise. No future that needs to be built from scratch.

There is mostly today.

So I live one day at a time.

Some days are good.

Some are not.

Some days I laugh at something silly. Sometimes a song brings back a memory. Sometimes a movie takes me away from my own life for a few hours. Sometimes a cup of tea feels like enough.

It is funny how, when you get older, the little things become the big things.

A peaceful morning.

A kind conversation.

A good meal.

A laugh.

A memory.

Hearing from my daughters.

Knowing that someone thought of me.

These small things have carried me further than I ever imagined.

I have also reached a point where I am simply tired.

Not tired in the way sleep can cure.

Tired in my mind.

Tired of having to explain myself.

Tired of being misunderstood.

Tired of unnecessary conflict.

Tired of carrying the emotional weight of things that should have been easier.

There are times when I pray that God will simply call me home.

Not because I have nothing to be grateful for.

I do.

But because I am tired and I long for peace.

I don’t want to fight anymore.

I don’t want to prove anything anymore.

I don’t want to defend myself anymore.

I just want quiet.

And yet, when I look back at my life, I cannot say that it was all bad.

It wasn’t.

There were good days too.

There were people who were kind to me.

There were moments that made me laugh.

There were places I loved.

There was music.

There were books and films and little pleasures.

There was work that made me feel capable.

And there were my daughters.

Most importantly, there were my daughters.

So perhaps I should not look at my life only through the things I didn’t receive.

I didn’t get the love story I imagined when I was young.

I didn’t get the marriage I thought I was fighting for.

I didn’t get the peaceful companionship I perhaps deserved in old age.

But I did get experiences.

I got independence.

I got the strength that comes from surviving things you once thought would destroy you.

And I got three beautiful daughters.

Maybe that is what gratitude is at this age—not pretending that everything was wonderful, but being able to say:

“Yes, there was a lot of pain.

Yes, there were choices I would make differently.

Yes, there were years I wish had been different.

But there were also moments of happiness.

And I am grateful for those.”

I don’t know how many years I have left.

I don’t want to count them.

For now, I will simply live them.

One day.

One cup of tea.

One song.

One memory.

One conversation.

One small happiness at a time.

I have spent most of my life taking care of everyone else.

Perhaps now, even if only in small ways, I can learn to take care of the woman who was me all those years ago—the girl in the snowy hills, the young woman who believed too much in love, the wife who discovered too soon that she had made a mistake, the working woman who wanted her independence, and the mother who became fierce because three little girls needed her.

She has been through a lot.

She deserves some kindness now.

And perhaps that is the one thing I would finally like to give her.

A little peace.

A little tenderness.

And the knowledge that, despite everything, she made it this far.

The Weight of Unheld Arms

There are people

who measure love

by birthdays remembered,

by photographs framed,

by laughter around crowded tables.

I measure mine

by the spaces

where a hug should have been.

Not once,

from the hands that brought me into this world.

Not from siblings

who shared my childhood roof.

Not from the man

who promised forever.

Not from the children

I carried in my heart.

Not from the tiny grandchildren

whose arms never found their way around my neck.

I have lived

through decades

without knowing

what it feels like

to be someone’s safe place,

or to rest

inside the quiet certainty

of another’s embrace.

People say,

“It’s only a hug.”

They do not know

that a hug says,

“You belong.”

“You matter.”

“I’m glad you’re here.”

What is a heart

supposed to believe

when it has never heard

those words

without a single sentence spoken?

Some days,

I wonder

if I was born

missing something invisible—

some secret worth

everyone else received

without asking.

I smile.

I speak gently.

I help.

I give.

I endure.

Yet somewhere inside,

a small child

still stands at the doorway,

arms half-raised,

waiting for someone

to choose her.

Years have passed.

The child has silver hair now.

She still waits.

The emptiness

doesn’t shout anymore.

It has learned

to whisper.

It sits beside me

at family gatherings.

It follows me

into quiet evenings.

It lies beside me

when sleep refuses to come.

It asks,

again and again,

“If no one has ever held me…

was I ever worth holding?”

I have no easy answer.

Only this:

My life became a garden

where everyone else found shade,

while the gardener

stood alone in the sun.

Perhaps my greatest sorrow

is not that I was unloved,

but that I spent a lifetime

loving others

with arms

that were never held.

And if heaven

keeps count of silent griefs,

may it remember this one:

There lived a woman

whose heart never stopped giving,

even though

it never truly knew

what it felt like

to be gathered close,

to be cherished,

to be home

in another person’s arms.

WHEN YOU COME HOME

A Grandmother's Song

Verse 1

I hold your laughter in my hands,
Though oceans keep us far apart.
The miles may draw their lines on maps,
They cannot draw them through my heart.

Each night I whisper to the moon,
"Please kiss those little cheeks for me."
The stars become my lullaby,
Across the endless silver sea.

---

Pre-Chorus

One day you'll ask me where love lives...
I'll smile and simply say—

---

Chorus

It lives where every story starts,
In open skies and open hearts.
In every prayer, in every smile,
That waits for you each passing mile.

Come when you can, don't hurry home,
The door will always open be.
For home is not a place you find—
It's where your heart remembers me.

---

Verse 2

I'll show you mountains dressed in snow,
That touch the morning's golden light.
I'll show you rivers old as dreams,
Still singing through the silent night.

We'll chase the monsoon down the fields,
Watch peacocks dance before the rain.
And breathe the scent of earth reborn—
A perfume words cannot explain.

---

Chorus

We'll walk through colours, songs and prayers,
Where kindness quietly fills the air.
Taste mango summers, saffron skies,
See wonder through your own young eyes.

Come when you can, don't hurry home,
My love has learned the art of wait.
For every road you choose to walk
Will always lead you to my gate.

---

Bridge

You'll hear a thousand different tongues,
Yet every smile will say the same—
"Sit down, you've come a long, long way.
Now you are family again."

You'll light a tiny earthen lamp,
Its little flame both soft and bright.
And understand why hope survives
Even through the darkest night.

---

Key Change

If I am old... if I am gone...
Don't think you've walked this world alone.

Listen...

When morning birds begin to sing,
When children laugh, when temple bells ring,
When rain first kisses thirsty ground—
My love is there inside that sound.

---

Final Chorus

Come home someday, my precious ones,
Where ancient rivers greet the sun.
Where every season paints the earth,
Reminding us what life is worth.

And if your feet never find this shore,
Remember what I've told before—

You carry India when you're kind.
You carry India when you share.
You carry India when you forgive.
You carry India when you care.

For home is never lost by sea...

It's living quietly...

Inside of me.
Inside of you.
Forever.

Sleep well, my little stars...

Nani loves you.

Always.

English with Hindi Words

"Nani's Promise"

Verse

My little angels, don't you fear,
Your Nani's always very near.
Across the oceans, near or far,
I wish upon each evening star.

I'll tell you stories every night,
Of India's colours, warm and bright.

Chorus

Come, my bachche, come one day,
Let Nani show you the way.

We'll watch the diya softly glow,
Where gentle evening breezes blow.

We'll draw a bright rangoli round,
With happy colours on the ground.

We'll hear the temple bells that ring,
And koel birds at sunrise sing.

We'll taste hot rotis, mango sweet,
Fresh jalebi, every treat.

We'll walk beside the holy Ganga,
Dance to joyful dhol and tabla.

We'll smell the mitti after rain,
A fragrance words cannot explain.

Bridge

Whether London, Sydney, Toronto, too,
Or anywhere the skies are blue,

Remember where your roots began,
The dreams, the love, the guiding hand.

Your Nani's heart will always say,
"India is never far away."

Final Chorus

Come, my bachche, whenever you can,
Come walk this ancient, gentle land.

And if your journey keeps you far,
My love will find you where you are.

Because a Nani's heart can see,
Across each shore, across each sea.

Indian Folk / Classical Inspired Version

"The Song of My Motherland"

My darling children, listen near,
I'll paint a land both bright and dear.

Where dawn first kisses snowy peaks,
And every mountain softly speaks.

Where Ganga carries ancient prayer,
And jasmine perfumes evening air.

Where banyan trees tell tales of old,
And marigolds outshine the gold.

Where temple bells and mosque calls blend,
Where every faith can find a friend.

Where Diwali lights the darkest night,
And Holi bursts in colours bright.

Where harvest songs fill village skies,
And hope is seen in farmers' eyes.

Where coconut palms greet the sea,
And deserts bloom unexpectedly.

Where forests echo tiger's roar,
And elephants still roam once more.

Where spices scent the morning breeze—
Cardamom, cinnamon, cloves with ease.

Where rotis puff on open flame,
And every meal is love by name.

One day, my loves, come walk this land,
Hold India's heartbeat in your hand.

Till then, each lullaby I sing
Will carry home on gentle wings.

Modern Verse–Chorus–Bridge Song (a song for my little ones)

"Come Home to India, My Little Ones"

Verse 1

My little stars across the sea,
Though miles divide our family tree,
Each morning when I whisper prayers,
My love comes floating through the air.

I see your smiles in every dawn,
Though many seasons have now gone.
The distance never dims the light,
That binds our hearts both day and night.

Pre-Chorus

Close your eyes and dream with me,
Of the land that shaped our family.

Chorus

Come home someday, my little ones,
Where every river greets the sun.
Where mountains kiss the sapphire sky,
And peacocks dance as clouds roll by.

Taste mango summers, hear temple bells,
The stories every grandmother tells.
Though oceans keep us far apart

India lives inside your heart.

Verse 2

Walk through valleys dressed in flowers,
Golden deserts, ancient towers.
Hear the waves where oceans sing,
Watch the forests come alive in spring.

Meet the people, kind and true,
Who'll smile before they speak to you.
Where every stranger finds a friend,
And open hearts know no end.

Chorus

Come home someday, my little ones... (repeat)

Bridge

If ever you should lose your way,
Or skies above turn cold and grey,
Remember roots run deep below,
Where love and hope forever grow.

Your Nani's prayers cross every tide,
With India walking by your side.

Final Chorus

Come home someday, my little ones,
To fields beneath a thousand suns.
And if life keeps you far away,
Carry her light with you each day.

For home's not only where we start,
It's every beat within your heart.

Grandma's Song Across the Seas

My dearest hearts, though oceans stretch so wide,
My love still finds you with each rising sun.
You're nestled where the northern skylines glide,
Yet in my heart, our souls remain as one.

I wish you'd hear the monsoon's joyful rain,
That paints the thirsty earth in emerald green;
See mighty Himalayas proudly reign,
And rivers weave through lands of gold serene.

Taste mangoes sweet and fragrant pots of spice,
Warm rotis shared with laughter every day;
Meet gentle hearts whose smiles need no disguise,
Where every guest is family on their way.

Though far you grow, may India fill your soul—
For love knows every distance, and makes us whole.

Hearing vs Listening

Greetings --importance & effects

Greetings Are Important. Greetings are vital to make that first good impression, establish good relationships with your loved ones and set a positive tone for any conversation whether it is with your friend, boss or client. If you want to be an effective personality, you should not ignore the importance of greetings.

The greetings change depending on the time of the day. For example, “Good morning” is generally used from 5:00 a.m. to 12:00 p.m. whereas “Good afternoon” is appropriate for a period from 12:00 p.m. to 6:00 p.m. “Good evening” is often used after 6 p.m. or when the sun goes down.

The majority of older people insist that with this simple gesture you reflect the values of your family, while others hold the opinion that it is a symbol of respect. In any case, a greeting is very important to us. It is a manifestation of warmth, appreciation, and love that one person has for others.

Smiling will also improve your health by reducing stress, boosting your immune system, lowering your blood pressure and making you look younger. To make a positive impression on people you are greeting, look in their eyes and offer a warm, friendly smile as you tell them how pleased you are to meet or see them.

The effects of a simple greeting

We all need recognition. We need to feel that we matter. This doesn't mean that we should be running for glory and honour, but every human being has a basic and natural desire to be acknowledged as significant.

And we can give some of this significance to others simply by greeting them properly. The first thing to realize, which we certainly don't always think about, is that when we greet people with a 'good morning', we are actually giving them a blessing. We are telling them that we hope they will have a good morning. We are not defining the morning by saying 'good morning' rather, we are offering a blessing that it should be a good morning.

All greetings are meant in this way. The classical 'shalom aleichem' means literally that 'peace should be upon you', an excellent blessing which we always need…

The explanation would appear to be that when we see a fellow human being, we are obliged to acknowledge his value and importance. ...But even in the greeting, you display your respect for the person, even more, when you offer him a blessing that he should succeed, that things should go well, that he should have a 'good morning.'

And the way in which we greet someone is also important. ...We are not supposed to give someone a quick hello; rather, we should give them eye contact, emotion, and genuine loving attention. 

As someone rightly said, "I came to love the way he lit up when I entered the room. He did this for many people, I know, but it was his special talent to make each visitor feel that the smile was unique. And it didn't stop with the greeting. When he was with you, he was really with you. He looked you straight in the eye, and he listened as if you were the only person in the world. How much better would people get along if their first encounter each day were like this—instead of a grumble from a waitress, or a bus driver, or a boss?

Formal greetings: “How do you do?”

·        “Hello!”

·        “Good morning.”

·        “Good afternoon.”

·        “Good evening.”

·        “It's nice to meet you.”

·        “It's a pleasure to meet you.” (These last two only work when you are meeting someone for the first time.)

·         “ Hi!” ( Probably the most commonly used greeting in English)

·        “ Morning!”

Who thought that such a common greeting could be so powerful? By acknowledging others in the community and having that acknowledgement reciprocated, we feel connected to the indigenous. Within the first week in a new place, the feeling of being an outsider will vanish, and you will feel accepted by the communities that you interact with. It is amazing how a simple nod and smile can considerably increase one’s sense of connection to the people around them.

Many of us experience some sort of rejection on a day-to-day basis. We often may feel ignored or excluded. Although some of us have become desensitized to this feeling, it can still put a damper on anyone’s day. However, a greeting can alleviate this sense of rejection. This sort of acknowledgement can make anyone feel more accepted by the people around them and easily brighten their day.

Unfortunately, most of us are sucked into our phones, checking our email, scrolling through Facebook / Instagram, or updating our Snapchat stories. We rarely acknowledge those around us, unless they are someone we know. We can change that. We should try to interact with the people around us. Little may we know that a simple hello/smile can make a huge impact on their day.

Feeling a Void in Life

Having a void means a feeling of unhappiness because someone or something is missing: a large hole or empty space:

The human mind is very powerful.  If it is not controlled, it can lead you to the turmoil of feelings and emotions and such things will decide your life. Most of the times, such states of mind are based on illogical beliefs and notions and prejudices and it will not give you a successful and a better or a desired life. There could be a million reasons. Whatever the reason is, it’s turning your brain against you. A void is unhappiness without a reason, without knowing what causes it you just feel empty

When a person gets an emotional breakdown, this phenomenon happens. Ex: big failures in love affairs, huge losses in finance, set back in marital life, death of a loved one or any such emotional setbacks might result in some kind of void-a feeling of nothingness, a feeling of a vacuum created in the mind. The human being then seeks for meaning or significance which will make him continue his life. When a person thus encounters such meaningless mundane issues but meaningful to his reasoning and thirst for something better, nobler, permanent and eternal, he feels as if he is struck up with void.

There is nothing wrong if the feeling of void stays with one for a short time; else it will take him to a psychiatrist!
The best option is to expose yourself to a new environment, forming new circles, to develop new skills.

Maybe you are going through some stress or something is bothering you which you are not able to share with anyone…or probably you are finding your life to be very monotonous and you are in need of a change ….talk to someone! Share your grief or problems so that you don’t feel like you are alone! For a change read a good book or go out somewhere …give yourself a makeover or just take out time to appreciate yourself!!

I don't exactly know what you are feeling, but I can tell you what I felt.
The void that I felt, and still do, is something that goes away as I focus on activities.
Like I put in more effort and concentration at work, music helps (a lot), reading, and talking to people and trying to keep myself occupied. I try not to dwell on the negative feelings; they've never brought me anything but unhappiness. 

It helps to do what you are good at, makes you feel strong and in control. You can learn a new skill, makes you feel like a winner, and you can start a new exercise routine which just makes you feel awesome.

All the options, whatever you choose to do, requires you to set short term goals, something you can achieve in a week, maybe two. Slowly built it up, it'll be tough at first and will get easier as you keep it up. But it is important to do something, sitting around isn't going to help. If you feel really bad, consider some professional help too. No shame in that. Don't let pride or shame get in the way of feeling like yourself again.

We feel a void within when we have no purpose in our life. We enjoy living when our life is fulfilled (with purpose). Hence, you must discover your purpose. The centre of your purpose must lie outside you. It means that you must see how can you make the world a better place? You must help others to create a better world and in this process, you will get a better purpose. Your void will be filled.

The human mind is like an uncontrolled horse and it is required to be controlled. By feeding your mind with useful stuff and engaging yourself in some works, you will definitely realize that such feelings and emotions are actually senseless and useless products of the human brain.

I wish you the best and remind you “Believe in yourself -You deserve the best!”

The Powerful Words

 Words have power

Words have names

Words can always change the game

So use them with caution 

Use them with care

Use them to show that you care

Words can hurt

Words can wound

If used carelessly

They can even maim and kill

So once again I say

Use them wisely

Use them sparingly

Use them to build relations

Not to destroy the world

Work from Home vs Office

Working from home affords you flexibility, but it also demands a lot from you in return.

It’s much more than just the allure of getting to work in your pyjamas. Working from home means you’ll learn to rely on self-motivation, self-discipline, focus, and concentration. You can actually be more productive when working from home. Your office chair is your couch. Your commute is the length of your hallway. Your snack drawer is your entire pantry. Think it’s a dream? Not always.

In a traditional office setting, the mentors or the leaders seemed to be more accessible, more apt to have a pulse on the particular difficulties, and more prepared to offer feedback and guidance.

 There is something to be said for having your colleagues nearby to offer support. When they physically see or hear you struggling through some sort of a business problem, they can help you to talk through various scenarios, strategize for solutions, and offer up aide or expertise in a much more natural, fluid way that does not happen when we work-from-home.

Work from office gives more of a mental and emotional break from work you can shut down the computer, switch off the light and close the office door, and pull out of the parking lot.

I have tasted both office  & home.

I love the way I work now, in my PJs, multitasking as I work, interact with family, watch TV, take a short nap when work is slow, traveling if need be.

What is your way??

I guess it is each to his own!!!

  

Do we ever Retire?

 Retirement

"is the point where a person stops employment completely. Retirement, a time to do what you want to do, when you want to do it, where you want to do it, and, how you want to do it."

Hence though retirement may be an ending, a closing, it is also a new beginning.

When you retire, think and act as if you were still working; when you're still working, think and act a bit as if you were already retired.

Personally for me,retirement has been a discovery of beauty as  I never had the time before to notice the beauty of my grand kids, the tree outside my very own front door. And, the beauty of time itself. 

I truly believe in the saying that "The best time to start thinking about your retirement is before the boss does" as doing so you can get out of the rat race at a time that allows you to not only maintain your dignity,but come away with a feeling of being wanted.
 However its always wise not to simply retire from something; but have something to retire to. As more often than not,when men reach their sixties and retire, they go to pieces. Women go right on cooking like they have always been doing. 
So then for men sometimes it's hard to tell if retirement is a reward for a lifetime of hard work or a punishment.

Frustrations

1.Not having ANYONE to talk to though you are always surrounded by people.—

u become a recluse.

2.Having a partner who is anything but that….in all things in life that matter.---

u become an introvert.

3.Having to live with a control freak… who thinks that controlling all things physical, monetary, food—morsels eaten or otherwise is for your own good,& he is doing you a favor by doing it.---

u become a  thief & do things in hiding.

4.You are gossiped about & laughed at in every gathering & tall tales are told about your imaginary antics.—

u start laughing out loud to hide the pain & avoid socializing.

5. Though pitied by all, externally you are normal laughing, talking & seemingly an extrovert.---

internally you start looking forward to & thinking of ways to meet your maker.

6. End result—

when u can’t take it anymore, you hate the world and give up on life &  desire to leave it forever. 

Life ???

When we are on this earth we are alive & feel we own our lives and also at times others lives too.

We rave, we rant and we want everyone to accept our dominance.

We give gyaan and our opinions even when not asked for.

For somewhere deep down we want to convince ourselves of our own worth, but are too blind or downright scared to voice it, and so point fingers at others.

But it is rightfully said, “We hate most in others, what we know and unknowingly hate in ourselves”.

Our whole lives are spent in trying to prove the above & then one day…..poof…..!!!!!! & we bid farewell to the world.

Leaving behind a bad taste in the mouth, mind and memory of the very ones who we cared for the most.

Is it really worth it????

A beautiful life wasted & for what????

1.In place of hate there could have been love.

2.In place of raving and ranting there could have been laughter and smiles

3.In place of hateful words there could have been words of love and forgiveness.

As Marley rightly says:

“Who are you to judge the life I live?
I know I'm not perfect -and I don't live to be
but before you start pointing fingers...
make sure you hands are clean!

This life is what you make it. No matter what, you're going to mess up sometimes, it's a universal truth. But the good part is you get to decide how you're going to mess it up. Just because you fail once, doesn't mean you're gonna fail at everything. Keep trying, hold on, and always, always, always believe in yourself, because if you don't, then who will? So keep your head high, keep your chin up, and most importantly, keep smiling, because life's a beautiful thing and there's so much to smile about.” 

“In three words I can sum up everything I've learned about life: it goes on.” --― Robert Frost

“There are only two ways to live your life. One is as though nothing is a miracle. The other is as though everything is a miracle.” --― Albert Einstein

Life 's vagaries

Life’s Vagaries   

I’ve learned-
1) That you cannot make someone love you. All you can do is be someone who can be loved. The rest is up to them.
2) That no matter how much I care, some people just don’t care back.
3) That it takes years to build up trust, and only seconds to destroy it.
4) That no matter how good a friend is, they’re going to hurt you every once in a while and you must forgive them for that.
5) That it’s not what you have in your life but who you have in your life that counts.
6) That you should never ruin an apology with an excuse.
7) That you can get by on charm for about fifteen minutes. After that, you’d better know something.
8) That you shouldn’t compare yourself to the best others can do.
9) That you can do something in an instant that will give you heartache for life.
10) That it’s taking me a long time to become the person I want to be.
11) That you should always leave loved ones with loving words. It may be the last time you see them.
12) That you can keep going long after you can’t.
13) That we are responsible for what we do, no matter how we feel.
14) That either you control your attitude or it controls you.
15) That regardless of how hot and steamy a relationship is at first, the passion fades and there had better be something else to take its place.
16) That heroes are the people who do what has to be done when it needs to be done, regardless of the consequences.
17) That money is a lousy way of keeping score.
18) That my best friend and I can do anything or nothing and have the best time.
19) That sometimes the people you expect to kick you when you’re down will be the ones to help you get back up.
20) That sometimes when I’m angry I have the right to be angry, but that doesn’t give me the right to be cruel.
21) That true friendship continues to grow, even over the longest distance. Same goes for true love.
22) That just because someone doesn’t love you the way you want them to doesn’t mean they don’t love you with all they have.
23) That maturity has more to do with what types of experiences you’ve had and what you’ve learned from them and less to do with how many birthdays you’ve celebrated.
24) That you should never tell a child their dreams are unlikely or outlandish. Few things are more humiliating, and what a tragedy it would be if they believed it.
25) That your family won’t always be there for you. It may seem funny, but people you aren’t related to can take care of you and love you and teach you to trust people again. Families aren’t biological.
26) That it isn’t always enough to be forgiven by others. Sometimes you have to learn to forgive yourself.
27) That no matter how bad your heart is broken the world doesn’t stop for your grief.
28) That our background and circumstances may have influenced who we are, but we are responsible for who we become.
29) That a rich person is not the one who has the most but is one who needs the least.
30) That just because two people argue, it doesn’t mean they don’t love each other. And just because they don’t argue, it doesn’t mean they do.
31) That we don’t have to change friends if we understand that friends change.
32) That you shouldn’t be so eager to find out a secret. It could change your life forever.
33) That two people can look at the exact same thing and see something totally different.
34) That no matter how you try to protect your children, they will eventually get hurt and you too will be hurt in the process.
35) That even when you think you have no more to give, when a friend cries out to you, you will find the strength to help.
36) That credentials on the wall do not make you a decent human being.
37) That the people you care about most in life are taken from you too soon.
38) That it’s hard to determine where to draw the line between being nice and not hurting people’s feelings, and standing up for what you believe.
39) That people will forget what you said, and people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel.
40) That the tongue has no bones but is strong enough to break a heart. So you better be careful with your words. 

Expectations lead to frustrations:

As I said in my pointers in "Frustrations" it makes us into thieves in our own homes where we do things in hiding & gives us characteristics of which we ourselves become ashamed and we end up hating what we have become, leading us not only to hate the world but even ourselves. The bottom-line for building frustrations is within us itself & something which each one of us –small big, younger older or elderly, infant toddler teenager notwithstanding has. Something we knowingly or unknowingly start from a seedling and grow into a full-grown unshakeable “bargad ka ped”.—“EXPECTATIONS”.

From expecting our moms to cook and serve, clean and love as we begin this foray into the world of expectations. It’s a 2-way addiction as our peers & parents too expect good behaviour and obedience in return. Then as we grow older we expect them to fulfil our needs as well as wishes, and our friends to accept and boost our ego & self-worth. Later still our spouses & then on our kids take over & they too are added into our list & the earlier expectations remain rather even grow. We also have untold and unspoken expectations from our loved ones and friends—as if they are mind readers & will auto guess what we expect of them!!!

This is from my personal experience----It is this very same expectation, which leads to our downfall. A downfall caused by the unfulfilled expectations, partially fulfilled ones too. We feel saddened and pain, as we feel, let down—in small gestures or big projects. This pain then transforms into anger, depression, lashing out at our closest victims or even become suicidal.

Imagine ….if we did not “expect”, then there would be no “fulfilling” & hence no feeling of being let down or disappointment. In fact, because we don’t expect anything from anyone—every little bit we get any love, kind gestures, help, considerations……will be like a bonus during Diwali & Christmas….unexpected good returns, which not only bring gains but joy and happiness too. Blessing the giver & the receiver both.

Many cynics will say “easier said than done!”, I agree, but then who said life was easy?


Bottom-line if we take the first step towards non-expectation, at least we will have the satisfaction of doing something in order to avoid future disappointments & depression.

So remember…..

1. Don’t blame people for disappointing you, blame yourself for expecting too much from them.
2. "Blessed is he who expects nothing, for he shall never be disappointed."– said Alexander Pope.
3. Peace begins When expectation ends.
4. Don’t expect things to happen. It’s better to be surprised than to be disappointed.
5. What makes the earth feel like hell; is our expectation that it should feel like heaven.
6. Expectations Don’t magically Change Reality… Expectations Do Something Even More Powerful They Change The Way you Deal With Reality !!