15 November 2012

Expectations lead to frustrations:



As I said in my pointers in "Frustrations" it makes us into thieves in our own homes where we do things in hiding & gives us characteristics of which we ourselves become ashamed and we end up hating what we have become, leading us not only to hate the world but even ourselves. The bottom-line for building frustrations is within us itself & something which each one of us –small big, younger older or elderly, infant toddler teenager notwithstanding has. Something we knowingly or unknowingly start from a seedling and grow into a full-grown unshakeable “bargad ka ped”.—“EXPECTATIONS”.

From expecting our moms to cook and serve, clean and love as we begin this foray into the world of expectations. It’s a 2-way addiction as our peers & parents too expect good behaviour and obedience in return. Then as we grow older we expect them to fulfil our needs as well as wishes, and our friends to accept and boost our ego & self-worth. Later still our spouses & then on our kids take over & they too are added into our list & the earlier expectations remain rather even grow. We also have untold and unspoken expectations from our loved ones and friends—as if they are mind readers & will auto guess what we expect of them!!!

This is from my personal experience----It is this very same expectation, which leads to our downfall. A downfall caused by the unfulfilled expectations, partially fulfilled ones too. We feel saddened and pain, as we feel, let down—in small gestures or big projects. This pain then transforms into anger, depression, lashing out at our closest victims or even become suicidal.

Imagine ….if we did not “expect”, then there would be no “fulfilling” & hence no feeling of being let down or disappointment. In fact, because we don’t expect anything from anyone—every little bit we get any love, kind gestures, help, considerations……will be like a bonus during Diwali & Christmas….unexpected good returns, which not only bring gains but joy and happiness too. Blessing the giver & the receiver both.

Many cynics will say “easier said than done!”, I agree, but then who said life was easy?


Bottom-line if we take the first step towards non-expectation, at least we will have the satisfaction of doing something in order to avoid future disappointments & depression.

So remember…..

1. Don’t blame people for disappointing you, blame yourself for expecting too much from them.
2. "Blessed is he who expects nothing, for he shall never be disappointed."– said Alexander Pope.
3. Peace begins When expectation ends.
4. Don’t expect things to happen. It’s better to be surprised than to be disappointed.
5. What makes the earth feel like hell; is our expectation that it should feel like heaven.
6. Expectations Don’t magically Change Reality… Expectations Do Something Even More Powerful They Change The Way you Deal With Reality !!