Fear of the Unknown .....

Definition of Fear: “False evidence appearing real” or “Anxiety is a fear of the unknown”.

You would feel afraid of something that you are not sure is really going to happen. Fear can paralyze and trap you, especially in the face of tragedy, uncertainty and circumstances beyond your control.

We all fear or are anxious about many things as per our reasoning or mental attitude:

1. to go into dark places
2. to look down from great heights
3. to face a big audience
4. to face our interviewer
5. to face our parents at times
6. on our first day at school /college or work
7. even at times something smaller than us like a cat or dog

It is an endless list—worst of all is facing ourselves & our conscience when we know we have done something wrong. This being the worst as other fears when faced go away but self condemnation remains with us through our lives.

The one permanent emotion of the inferior man is fear – fear of the unknown, the complex, and the inexplicable. What he wants above everything else is safety, however if you Feed your faith your fears will starve to death. Doubt is the opposite of faith. It is a neutralizer of faith. It says a man who doubts is like a wave of the sea, blown and tossed by the wind. Imagine yourself as a big rock, or a lighthouse built on a rock, the waves beat the rocks constantly, but you stand strong and cannot be moved. Visualize your strength. The Moorish Proverb rightly says: “He who fears something gives it power over him.”

Sometimes when I have tough or unresolved situations to face, I wake up with an uncomfortable feeling in my belly. I was trying to figure out; what is doubt? How does it feel? Try this word picture. Doubt stinks, it is waste, you need to flush it, and when you are full of it you don't feel good until you let it out. I've learned to get to the toilet and it helps me feel better fast. Sometimes it is just gas in the belly. :)

The following scriptures are a sure shot,tried & personally testified  to overcome even our worst fears,any time day or night.

1) “The LORD is on my side; I will not fear: what can man do unto me?”
2) “For God hath not given us the spirit of fear; but of power, and of love, and of a sound mind”
3) “So that we may boldly say, The Lord is my helper, and I will not fear what man shall do unto me.”
4) “There is no fear in love; but perfect love casts out fear: because fear hath torment. He that fears is not
      made perfect in love.”
5) “The LORD is my light and my salvation; whom shall I fear? the LORD is the strength of my life; of
      whom  shall I be afraid?”
6) “When I am afraid, I will trust in you. In God, whose word I praise, in God I trust; I will not be afraid.
      What can mortal man do to me? “
7) “For God has not given us a spirit of fear and timidity, but of power, love, and self-discipline.”
8)”For He Himself has said, "I will never leave you nor forsake you." So we may boldly say: "The LORD is
    my helper; I will not fear. What can man do to me?"

Share A Smile

“Smiling is infectious; you can catch it like the flu. Someone smiled at me today, and I started smiling too.If you would like to spoil the day for a grouch, give him a smile...”

A smile:-
1. Is a curve that sets everything straight.
2. Is an inexpensive way to change your looks.
3. Is a powerful weapon; you can even break ice with it.
4. Is a language that even a baby understands.
5. Of encouragement at the right moment may act like sunlight on a closed-up 
     flower; it may be the turning point for a struggling life.
            6. Slowly lights up your face and spreads its magic in your twinkling eyes
7. Takes seventeen muscles to smile and forty-three to frown.

Have we forgotten to smile as often as we used to do earlier? Do we genuinely smile nowadays? All of us seem to carry a scowl on our face rather than a smile. When was the last time you had a hearty laugh?

Ask yourself this question and you will be surprised at the answers.

We have forgotten the benefits of a good smile, keeping instead a stern look on our face in order to look more in control and present a professional face to the world.

Look at the mirror when you smile and your will see your eyes lit up. We have forgotten to smile at our loved ones, our neighbors, friends, colleagues and strangers. Smile is an infectious emotion and when you see a smiling face around your natural instinct is to smile back.

The world would be a much better place if we can spread the smile,so how does one start spreading this unique and loving message across the world?

Let us start with ourselves. As soon as you wake up look at the mirror and give yourself a warm and happy smile and then the spread it around with your loved ones, your neighbors and colleagues. Once you have mastered to do it daily try to spread it among strangers. Try smiling at people who you see daily at your work or while travelling.

You will be surprised at the magic of your smile. People who had never acknowledged your presence will suddenly turn friendly. Slowly a chain reaction will start where everyone you meet greets you with a smile and the scowl is totally forgotten.

On an average we could smile at 10-20 people every day. These 10-20 people could meet a further 100-200 and this chain of smile will continue unbroken.

Wow!!! Why wait for someone to do this, lets begin asap & give & receive joy—free of cost.

The Urge to Express Yourself – Self Expression

How often have our creative selves been swept to the side, making us an observer rather than a producer of creative projects? We internalize the belief that we don’t have what it takes to make it big;like I always wanted to write but was hesitant about it; and of course we don’t make it because we have hardly tried. The desire for self-expression afflicts people when they feel there is something of themselves which is not getting through to the outside world. Expression of one's own personality, feelings, or ideas, as through speech or art:

One day I realised that our lives begin to end the day we become silent about things that matter.--the reason for the inherent urge of self expression.
“If I could say it in words there would be no reason to paint.”--says a painter
“Music expresses that which cannot be put into words and that which cannot remain silent.”--says a musician
Self-observation brings man to the realization of the necessity of self-change. And in observing myself I noticed that self-observation itself brought about certain changes in my inner processes. So self-observation is for me an instrument of self-change, a means of awakening.

 The freedom we are looking for is the freedom to be ourselves, to express ourselves. There are thousands of causes for stress, and one antidote to stress is self-expression. That's what happens to me every day. My thoughts get off my chest, and onto my pad.

I believe that creative expression, whether through daily creativity or through making art, is worth the effort. As it contributes to a richer life.

The benefits & highs that creativity brings & adds to our life can be summed up in the following few lines:-

1. sense of time. Countless artists have discussed the experience of timelessness that one encounters in the creative zone. I feel like I'm in limbo when I'm writing,tiredness,time etc all is forgotten.
But we moan about not having enough time to even get into the flow. Strangely enough, when you give time to creative pursuits, you gain time. Who couldn’t use the feeling of more time?

2. Freedom. Creativity invites messiness and exploration. Here’s an opportunity to return to that feeling of freedom such as we experienced in childhood. We didn’t have to know, didn’t have to be ‘good’, be in control, be the expert and not care about being right or looking good?--I bet not since infancy...

3. Enhanced relationships. Many people fear that if they begin doing their creative work, their relationships and other priorities will suffer.
But when we are actively creating, we feel better about our relationships. We tend to be more generous to others. We have more to give because we have answered our urge to create. We forgive & forget more easily,always wanting to do our best--like when in a new relationship with another human being......we dress well,listen patiently,smile more often,shower gifts...

4. Living integrity. When we are actively working on our projects, we honor our innate creativity. This feels better than wishing we were writing, or talking about writing, but not doing it.

5. Save money. :) Expressing yourself can control the urge to impulse buy. Do you ever find yourself shopping out of boredom? Expressing yourself creatively can often fill the need to impulse shop.
Save money and do something creative instead of buying something you don’t really need or want. Wow...specially in these financial crunch times.

6. Energetic Call it a good mood,a natural high. When we’ve done our creative work, we gain energy for our other responsibilities. I think this is the best reason to create – it feels ummmh!..so good!
Forget TV, overeating, over-sugaring or drinking and tap the true source of your vitality.Wish I had earlier..I wouldn't have been so obese :) :)

7. Connection with other creative people. When we are creating, we are connected to those who work in the challenging but rewarding field of artistic creativity.

8. Faith and confidence in our impulses. When we create, we recognize that our work does matter even if it is not published, displayed or presented to the public. We trust our instincts and gain confidence from expressing them. This confidence carries over into decisions we make in other areas of life.

9. Honoring the source of creative ideas. Where does creative inspiration come from? Some think it is God, or other divine source. We honor the gift of creative inspiration when we listen and act on our ideas, and by doing so, we are connecting to a deeper wisdom than our own.

10. Self-knowledge and discovery.  As we create, we plumb the depths of our being, accessing what we think and believe. You may be surprised at the resources, thoughts and impulses that you discover there.

"Continue to be yourself because in the end that's what people will remember about you"

Check whether you are a good Listener

Take the test presented here to determine if you're losing it or not. The spaces below are so you don't see the answers until you've made your answer. OK, relax, clear your mind, and begin.
Answer immediately the first answer you think of--no cheating......

1. What do you put in a toaster?

2. Say "silk" five times. Now spell "silk." What do cows drink?

3. If a red house is made from red bricks and a blue house is made from blue bricks and a pink house is made from pink bricks and a black house is made from black bricks, what is a green house made from?

4. It's twenty years ago, and a plane is flying at 20,000 feet overGermany (If you will recall, Germany at the time was politically divided into West Germany and East Germany .) Anyway, during the flight, TWO engines fail. The pilot, realizing that the last remaining engine is also failing, decides on a crash landing procedure. Unfortunately the engine fails before he can do so and the plane fatally crashes smack in the middle of "no man's land" between East Germany and West Germany . Where would you bury the survivors? ,West Germany , East Germany  or no man's land?

5. Without using a calculator - You are driving a bus from London to Milford Haven in Wales ; In London, 17 people get on the bus; In Reading, six people get off the bus and nine people get on ; In Swindon, two people get off and four get on ; In Cardiff, 11 people get off and 16 people get on ; In Swansea, three people get off and five people get on ; In Carmathen, six people get off and three get on. You then arrive at Milford Haven. What was the name of the bus driver?

Answers:-
Q1.--Answer: "bread."
If you said "toast," give up now and do something else. Try not to hurt yourself. If you said, bread, go to question 2.

Q2.--Answer: Cows drink water.
If you said "milk," don't attempt the next question. Your brain is over-stressed and may even overheat. Content yourself with reading a more appropriate literature such as Auto World. However, if you said "water", proceed to question 3.

Q3.--Answer: Greenhouses are made from glass.
If you said "green bricks," why are you still reading these? If you said "glass," go on to Question 4.

Q4.--Answer: You don't bury survivors.
If you said ANYTHING else, you're a dunce and you must stop. If you said, "You don't bury survivors", proceed to the next question.

Q5.--Answer: Oh, for crying out loud! Don't you remember your own name? It was YOU!!


So guys had fun? I did especially quizzing the trainees I trained in my career with such brainers.
Are u as good a listener as you thought u were? I am not.
Lets remember that listening & listening well & correctly is the more important part of communicating well.

Here's to a good conversation & communication

Saying it Appropriately -- to maximize the effect

Have u heard of a blind beggar who was begging at a street corner on a hot summers day?
Many people passed him by, not giving him even a penny
A man came by & read the placard near the beggar,it said:
"I am Blind"
The man rubbed it off & wrote something else & walked away
Soon the people passing by started showering coins in the beggars bowl
By evening the bowl was overflowing
The beggar heard the footsteps of the man who had stopped by earlier & called out
"what was it u wrote on my placard?"
The man replied,"I wrote the truth,so that all could realise it"
I wrote"Today is a beautiful day,you can see it---- but I can't"

So you see friends-- speaking the truth is the right thing,but speaking the truth so that people realise it too is  more essential.
Communicating appriopriately should be developed,infact it is like "a sugar coated pill",wherein the bitter truth is subtely understood not hurting or hitting anyone in the eye thus maintaining the dignity of the reader & keeping our relationship open with him.

This does not give any place to sarcasm or bad blood.

Happiness

You can't buy  happiness,cause happiness is free.
It's there for you and me,and for anybody who wants to see

What you do with what you've got, can change the way you feel.
Just do your best and smile a lot, will make being happy a steal

 I realised that the best things are given free
As air,water,food,earth wait for us to realise it & see

        Can you buy,make or destroy
       A baby's smile?
    A snowflake in the sky?
    A rosy apple on a tree?
    A gurgling brook?
    A clover scented soft breeze?
    A sunrise & sunset filled with glorious colors?

Why then not accept that our mind is too
A part of the same God gifted treasures
And happiness is all around us
In things great & small
Waiting for us to open our hearts
For it to walk in & take hold of our lives completely

'Cause happiness is made for YOU,just take a step & see
For happiness is what you do,with something that is free.

An Ode to Mothers & Fathers

Universal Truths:-

1. "Some mothers are kissing mothers and some are scolding mothers, but it is love just the same, and most mothers kiss and scold together." ~Pearl S. Buck
2. The moment a child is born, the mother is also born. She never existed before. The woman existed, but the mother, never. A mother is something absolutely new.
3. Grown doesn't mean nothing to a mother. A child is a child. They get bigger, older, but grown? What's that suppose to mean? In my heart it doesn't mean a thing. -- a universal truth all moms know & believe.
4. A man's work is from sun to sun, but a mother's work is never done
5. No one in the world can take the place of your mother. Right or wrong, from her viewpoint you are always right. She may scold you for little things, but never for the big ones.
6. "God could not be everywhere, so he created mothers." -- a truth beleved by all
7. The best conversations with mothers always take place in silence, when only the heart speaks.
8. "In politics, if you want anything said, ask a man-if you want anything done, ask a woman." -Margaret Thatcher
9. The thankless position of the father in the family... the provider for all, and the enemy of all.
10. It is impossible to please all the world and one's father.
11. By the time a man realizes that maybe his father was right, he usually has a son who thinks he's wrong.

 MOTHERS

 A Mother is one who understands the things you say and do
 Who always overlooks your faults and sees the best in you
 A Mother is one whose special love inspires you day by day.
 Who fills your heart with gladness in her warm and thoughtful way.
 A Mother is all these things and more - the greatest treasure known.
 A mother is someone who loves you who cares for you in every way
 She sits down and listens to what you have to say
 She always thinks your beautiful & never puts you down
 She always has a smile to wipe away your frown
 A mother is someone who believes in you always & pushes you to go far
 Tells you to believe in yourself no matter who you are
 A mother is like an angel although without the wings
 She tells you to enjoy life's most smallest things

FATHERS 

Fathers are wonderful people too, little understood,
And we do not sing their praises as often as we should...
 For, somehow, Father seems to be the man who pays the bills,
 While Mother binds up little hurts and nurses all our ills...
 And Father struggles daily to live up to "his image"
 As protector and provider and "hero of the scrimmage"...
 And perhaps that is the reason we sometimes get the notion,
 That Fathers are not subject to the thing we call emotion,

 But if you look inside Dad's heart,where no one else can see

 You'll find he's sentimental and as "soft" as he can be...

 But he's so busy every day in the grueling race of life,

 He leaves the sentimental stuff to his partner and his wife...

 But Fathers are just wonderful in a million different ways,

 And they merit loving compliments and accolades of praise,

 For the only reason Dad aspires to fortune and success

 Is to make the family proud of him and to bring them happiness...

 And like Our Heavenly Father,he's a guardian and a guide,

 Someone that we can count on to be always on our side.

   We call him ... Dad

Importance of Communicating Properly

1. “Most conversations are simply monologues delivered in the presence of a
      witness.” “Two monologues do not make a dialogue.”
2. “The tongue is the only instrument that gets sharper with use.” Lying is done with
      words and also with silence.
3. When people talk, listen completely. Most people never listen. To listen well is as
     powerful a means of communication and influence as to talk well. Saying nothing...
          sometimes says the most. If speaking is silver, then listening is gold.
    4. Argument is the worst sort of conversation. The more elaborate our means of
        communication, the less we communicate.
   5. Wise men talk because they have something to say; fools, because they have to
        say something. Seek first to understand, then to be understood.
   6. The most basic and powerful way to connect to another person is to listen. Just 
        listen. Perhaps the most important thing we ever give each other is our attention.... 
        A loving silence often has far more power to heal and to connect than the most well- intentioned words.
7. To effectively communicate, we must realize that we are all different in the way 
     we perceive the world and use this understanding as a guide to our 
     communication with others.

8. Feelings of worth can flourish only in an atmosphere where individual
     differences are appreciated, mistakes are tolerated, communication is open,
   and rules are flexible -- the kind of atmosphere that is found in a nurturing family.
9. Mother Teresa said : "Kind words can be short and easy to speak, but their echoes are truly endless.Kind words do not cost much. Yet they accomplish much."
10. Remember not only to say the right thing in the right place, but far more difficult still, to leave unsaid the wrong thing at the tempting moment.
11. Men are born with two eyes, but only one tongue, in order that they should see twice as much as they  
      say. Everything becomes a little different as soon as it is spoken out loud.
12. If there is any great secret of success in life, it lies in the ability to put yourself in the other person's place
      and to see things from his point of view as well as your own. First learn the meaning of what you say,
      and then speak.
13. They may forget what you said, but they will never forget how you made them feel. Remember, what
       you say comes back to you.
14. If you wish to make a man your enemy, tell him simply, 'You are wrong.' This method works every time.
15. Speak when you are angry and you will make the best speech you will ever regret.
16. The way we communicate with others and with ourselves ultimately determines the quality of our lives

17. Communication--the human connection--is the key to personal and career success.
18. He who knows, does not speak. He who speaks, does not know
19. Deep listening is miraculous for both listener and speaker. When someone receives us with open-
      hearted, non-judging, intensely interested listening, our spirits expand.

Motherhood / Fatherhood

PARENTHOOD & Common Sayings

1. If you've never been hated by your child, you've never been a parent
2. Children seldom misquote you. They more often repeat word for word what you shouldn't have said.
3. Why do grandparents and grandchildren get along so well? They have the same enemy -- the mother.
4. A hundred years from now... it will not matter what my bank account was, the sort of house I lived in, or the kind of car I drove... but the world may be different because I was important in the life of a child.
5. Making the decision to have a child is momentous. It is to decide forever to have your heart go walking around outside your body.
6. Don't worry that children never listen to you; worry that they are always watching you
7. You will always be your child's favorite toy.
8. If you want your children to improve, let them overhear the nice things you say about them to others.
9. Children begin by loving their parents; as they grow older they judge them; sometimes they forgive them.
10. Parenthood is a lot easier to get into than out of.
11. A child enters your home and for the next twenty years makes so much noise you can hardly stand it. The child departs, leaving the house so silent you think you are going mad
12. Your children vividly remember every unkind thing you ever did to them, plus a few you really didn't
13. In spite of the six thousand manuals on child raising in the bookstores, child raising is still a dark continent and no one really knows anything. You just need a lot of love and luck - and, of course, courage

 MOTHERHOOD & it's Rewards

1. Mothers are a biological necessity; fathers are a social invention
2. There never was a child so lovely but his mother was glad to get him asleep
3. Children are the anchors that hold a mother to life.
4. A vacation frequently means that the family goes away for a rest, accompanied by mother, who sees that the others get it.-
5. People always talked about a mother's uncanny ability to read her children, but that was nothing compared to how children could read their mothers
6. To be a mother is a woman's greatest vocation in life. She is a partner with God. No being has a position of such power and influence. She holds in her hands the destiny of nations, for to her comes the responsibility and opportunity of molding the nation's citizens
7. Perhaps the greatest social service that can be rendered by anybody to the country and to mankind is to bring up a family. But here again, because there is nothing to sell, there is a very general disposition to regard a married woman's work as no work at all, and to take it as a matter of course that she should not be paid for it.
8. Motherhood is the one thing in all the world which most truly exemplifies the God-given virtues of creating and sacrificing. Though it carries the woman close to the brink of death, motherhood also leads her into the very realm of the fountains of life and makes her co-partner with the Creator in bestowing upon eternal spirits mortal life.
   
9. It's the three pairs of eyes that mothers have to have...One pair that see through closed doors. Another in the back of her head...and, of course, the ones in front that can look at a child when he goofs up and reflect 'I understand and I love you' without so much as uttering a word.
10. The hand that rocks the cradleIs the hand that rules the world.
11. Who is it that loves me and will love me for ever with an affection which no chance, no misery, no crime of mine can do away? It is you, my mother.
12. My love for her and my hate for her are so bafflingly intertwined that I can hardly see her. I never know who is who. She is me and I am she and we're all together.
13. My mother protected me from the world and my father threatened me with it.  You don't have to deserve your mother's love.  You have to deserve your father's.  He is more particular....
14. Ma-ma does everything for the baby, who responds by saying Da-da first.

FATHERHOOD & Common Thoughts

1. The most important thing a father can do for his children is to love their mother.
2. When a father gives to his son, both laugh; when a son gives to his father, both cry.

A Mother's wish

If I had my child to raise all over again,

I'd build self-esteem first, and the house later.

I'd finger-paint more, and point the finger less.

I would do less correcting and more connecting.

I'd take my eyes off my watch, and watch with my eyes.

I'd take more hikes and fly more kites.

I'd stop playing serious, and seriously play.

I would run through more fields and gaze at more stars.

I'd do more hugging and less tugging.

The different stages of Father / Son interaction during ages:

4 years: My Daddy can do anything!

7 years: My Dad knows a lot…a whole lot.

8 years: My father does not know quite everything.

12 years: Oh well, naturally Father does not know that either.

14 years: Oh, Father? He is hopelessly old-fashioned.

21 years: Oh, that man-he is out of date!

25 years: He knows a little bit about it, but not much.

30 years: I must find out what Dad thinks about it.

35 years: Before we decide, we will get Dad's idea first.

50 years: What would Dad have thought about that?

60 years: My Dad knew literally everything!

65 years: I wish I could talk it over with Dad once more.

Aahaan-1st Birthday

Itsy – bitsy fingers,wiggly little toes,
Teeny – tiny tummy,baby button nose.

I can't believe a year has gone,
Little Aahaan soon you'll be one,
We know you're around,our little tiger cub,
Your character comes out as you scream and shout,
My Discovery Channel’s scout.

                         Tiny little feet that always want to play,
                         That never stop exploring the wonder of today.
                         Ten tiny little fingers that from the very start,
                         Reached out for tomorrow yet always held my heart.
                         You already have a fan club, increasing each day,
Where ever you go with your smile & play.

Who knew catching a sunbeam could be so enchanting?
That a game of peekaboo could make you laugh everytime?
Who knew simple baby songs were so wonderfully silly,
Who knew that one little Aahaan could take my hand,
And show me the world all over again?

With all my love and best wishes,
For your very 1st birthday.