Expectations lead to frustrations:

As I said in my pointers in "Frustrations" it makes us into thieves in our own homes where we do things in hiding & gives us characteristics of which we ourselves become ashamed and we end up hating what we have become, leading us not only to hate the world but even ourselves. The bottom-line for building frustrations is within us itself & something which each one of us –small big, younger older or elderly, infant toddler teenager notwithstanding has. Something we knowingly or unknowingly start from a seedling and grow into a full-grown unshakeable “bargad ka ped”.—“EXPECTATIONS”.

From expecting our moms to cook and serve, clean and love as we begin this foray into the world of expectations. It’s a 2-way addiction as our peers & parents too expect good behaviour and obedience in return. Then as we grow older we expect them to fulfil our needs as well as wishes, and our friends to accept and boost our ego & self-worth. Later still our spouses & then on our kids take over & they too are added into our list & the earlier expectations remain rather even grow. We also have untold and unspoken expectations from our loved ones and friends—as if they are mind readers & will auto guess what we expect of them!!!

This is from my personal experience----It is this very same expectation, which leads to our downfall. A downfall caused by the unfulfilled expectations, partially fulfilled ones too. We feel saddened and pain, as we feel, let down—in small gestures or big projects. This pain then transforms into anger, depression, lashing out at our closest victims or even become suicidal.

Imagine ….if we did not “expect”, then there would be no “fulfilling” & hence no feeling of being let down or disappointment. In fact, because we don’t expect anything from anyone—every little bit we get any love, kind gestures, help, considerations……will be like a bonus during Diwali & Christmas….unexpected good returns, which not only bring gains but joy and happiness too. Blessing the giver & the receiver both.

Many cynics will say “easier said than done!”, I agree, but then who said life was easy?


Bottom-line if we take the first step towards non-expectation, at least we will have the satisfaction of doing something in order to avoid future disappointments & depression.

So remember…..

1. Don’t blame people for disappointing you, blame yourself for expecting too much from them.
2. "Blessed is he who expects nothing, for he shall never be disappointed."– said Alexander Pope.
3. Peace begins When expectation ends.
4. Don’t expect things to happen. It’s better to be surprised than to be disappointed.
5. What makes the earth feel like hell; is our expectation that it should feel like heaven.
6. Expectations Don’t magically Change Reality… Expectations Do Something Even More Powerful They Change The Way you Deal With Reality !!

Searching your soul for answers

People often say that this or that person has not yet found himself.There are chapters in every life which are seldom read and certainly not aloud.Trying to define yourself is like trying to bite your own teeth. There are... things which a man is afraid to tell even to himself, and every decent man has a number of such things stored away in his mind.We run away all the time to avoid coming face to face with ourselves.There is a limit to how much you can change to be liked for who you really are.The indispensable first step to getting the things you want out of life is this:decide what you want.Truth hurts - not the searching after; rather it is the running from!When you find peace within yourself, you become the kind of person who can live at peace with others.


"We can never obtain peace in the outer world until we make peace with ourselves." Dalai Lama

The Most Precious Gift

When it was time for his birth, The Angels were filled with pride & mirth.
The angels said to the LORD above,
This Special Child will need much love.
His progress may be erratic,
His thoughts may seem quite far away.
He may turn their lives into a roller coaster,
Their day to day will be a collage poster
For he'll require extra love & care
From the folks, he meets down there.
So please pick carefully where he's sent,
We want his life to be content.
Please, LORD, find the parents who
Will do a special job for you.
They will not realize right away
The leading role they have been asked to play,
But with this child sent from above
Comes stronger faith and richer love.
Soon they'll know the privilege given
In caring for their gift from Heaven.
Their precious charge, though not meek or mild,

Is HEAVEN'S VERY SPECIAL CHILD.

Changing the World One Smile at a Time

[written by someone else .... I agree to the opinion wholeheartedly]

When I was growing up, one of my mother’s favourite sayings was ‘honey catches more flies than vinegar.’ To which either my brother or I would inevitably reply ‘who wants to catch flies.’ Yet despite our childish derision, her words and their true intent remain with me still today.
In an age where service seems to be more often an idea rather than reality, it is all too easy to become justifiably frustrated with the people in our lives whose role we perceive as being to serve us. 
I’m not saying that we shouldn’t expect the best. Of course, we should. But we should also offer the best of ourselves to those around us. So I’m having a bad day, or even a bad week or month or year, I’m not going to make it any better by sharing my misery around. 
The other day at the supermarket I decided to try a different approach. I watched as the checkout assistant became more and more frustrated by the customers in front of me and line behind me grew longer and longer. When I got to the front of the line, instead of complaining about the wait, I thanked the checkout assistant for being so patient with the other customers. 
So here is my challenge to you - join me in changing the world one smile at a time. Smile at a stranger, thank someone who is just doing their job and be amazed at how the world starts to feel like a better place.
And to get you started – here is your first random smile from me to you :-)

At least I know I’m guilty of this and I’m sure I’m not alone. Yet how often does expressing frustration result in a better service and how often does it just result in more frustration, along with a hefty rise in blood pressure?

I’ve learnt by trial and error, many times over, that getting upset with someone over bad service, no matter what they do to fix it, never results in me feeling better about myself.

You should have seen the size of the smile I got back. Even thinking about it now still makes a big grin sweep across my face. Suddenly she felt acknowledged, recognized, valued … all the things that we so sorely need but so rarely receive. Did I get any better service from her than the people in front of me? Who knows. Did I feel a whole heap better about my interaction with her? You better believe I did!!! At the heart of this is our primal need to matter. 

The need that, in the time we walk this mortal path, we lay down lasting tracks that say to future generations ‘I was here and I made a difference.’ We are all aware of how important inclusion is. How being the wallflower at a dance, or the person in the corner at a party or the last one picked for a team can destroy our self-esteem. But recently I heard of a study that showed even acknowledgement by strangers can change for the better how we feel about our lives.

Now I am making it my mission to change the world one smile at a time. It doesn’t take much, just smiling at random strangers I pass in the street. Saying hello to someone I pass on my morning walk. Smiling and thanking the person looking after the desk at the gym. Wishing the lady at the school crossing a great day. Thanking the bus driver as I jump off the bus. It takes so little effort, but it gives so much back to me. I feel good because I’m appreciating everything around me and the smiles and kind words that I get back every so often are an unexpected bonus.

RACE against ????

If you're in a bad situation, don't worry it'll change. If you're in a good situation, don't worry it'll change” is the ETERNAL TRUTH.

We all flee in the hope of finding some ground of security, however, running, you should know, is a kind of stillness. It's the things we run from that hurt us the most. You can run, but sooner or later, you run out of places to run to. If you want it you’ll find a way, if not you’ll find an excuse.
It’s funny how the people who know the least, have the most to say and the people, who know the most, walk away.

You can’t escape God, and you can’t escape your skeletons in the closet. They will always be there until you take them out from behind those dusty old moth-eaten coats. Your exterior facade of ‘everything is alright’ only works for a little while, and then the cracks begin to show. You can only hide behind yourself for so long. You can’t keep running!
You learned to run from what you feel, and that's why you have nightmares. To deny is to invite madness. To accept is to control. Running away was easy; not knowing what to do next was the hard part.

There aren't any rules to running away from your problems. No checklist of things to cross off. No instructions. Eeny, meeny, pick a path and go. But our problems always find us. Sometimes quicker than others. Sometimes one month and sometimes six. There's no rule when it comes to that, either. Not about how long it takes for the problems to catch up with us. Just that they will, that much is a given. And then it's time to run again to a new town, a new home, or a new school.
But if there aren't any rules, I wonder why it feels the same every time. Feels like we leave behind a little bit of who we were in each house we've left empty. Scattering pieces of ourselves in towns all over the place. A trail of crumbs dotting the map from everywhere we've left to everywhere we go. And they don't make any pictures when we connect dots. They are random like the stars littering the sky at night. 

If you break your neck, if you have nothing to eat, if your house is on fire, then you got a problem. Everything else is inconvenience. We have no right to ask when sorrow comes, "Why did this happen to me?" unless we ask the same question for every moment of happiness that comes our way.
“The robbed one that smiles, steals something from the thief.” ~William Shakespeare, in Othello
If I had a formula for bypassing trouble, I would not pass it round. Trouble creates a capacity to handle it. I don't embrace trouble; that's as bad as treating it as an enemy. But I do say meet it as a friend, for you'll see a lot of it and at that time you had better be on speaking terms with it.
The healthy and strong individual is the one who asks for help when he needs it. Whether he's got an abscess on his knee or in his soul.

Birds sing after a storm; why shouldn't people feel as free to delight in whatever remains to them?
“You may not realize it when it happens, but a kick in the teeth may be the best thing in the world for you.” ~Walt Disney

If you don't like something change it; if you can't change it, change the way you think about it.
The problem is not that there are problems. The problem is expecting otherwise and thinking that having problems is a problem.

Our Voice

It's not so much what you say, as the manner in which you say it;

It's not so much the language you use, as the tone in which you convey it:

"Come here", I sharply said,& the child cowered & wept;

"Come here", I said, he looked & smiled,& straight to my lap, he crept.

Words may be mild & fair, but the tone may pierce like a dart;

Words may be soft like the summer air, but the tone may break my heart.

For words come from the mind, grow by study & art;

But tone leaps from the inner self, revealing the state of the heart.

Whether you know it or not, whether you mean or care;

Gentleness, kindness, love, hate, envy, anger are there.

Then, wouldn't you quarrel avoid, & let peace & love rejoice?

Keep anger not only out of your words; keep it out of your voice.

3 Words

I AM SORRY - Three words, eight letters, so difficult to say.

They're stuck inside of me, they try and stay away.

But this is too important to let them have their way.

When I said what I said, I was wrong;

Please forgive me, and let’s start anew.

Our relationship means much to me.

I’m so sorry my blunders hurt you.

                                                             

Though your memory may bring it back up,

Won’t you please try to put it away?

I’ll be tactful and sensitive now;

I’ll think of your needs every day.

Let’s go on with our lives as we were;

I’d take it all back if I could.

Let’s focus on positive things;

What we have is important and good.

There's one sad truth in life I've found

While journeying east and west -

The only folks we really wound

Are those we love the best.

We flatter those we scarcely know,

We please the fleeting guest,

And deal full many a thoughtless blow

To those who love us best.