Ten Biblical Rules for a Happy Marriage

A quick look at the Scriptures will show you what true happiness in a marriage really means.

1. Never bring up mistakes of the past.
    Stop criticizing others or it will come back on you. If you forgive others, you will be forgiven (Luke 6:37).

2. Neglect the whole world rather than each other.
    And how do you benefit if you gain the whole world but lose your own soul in the process? (Mark 8:36)

3. Never go to sleep with an argument unsettled.
    And don't sin by letting anger gain control over you. Don't let the sun go down while you are still angry    
    (Ephesians 4:26).

4. At least once a day, try to say something complimentary to your spouse.
    Gentle words bring life and health; a deceitful tongue crushes the spirit (Proverbs 15:4).

5. Never meet without an affectionate welcome.
     Kiss me again and again, your love is sweeter than wine (Song of Solomon 1:2).

6. "For richer or poorer" - rejoice in every moment that God has given you together.
      A bowl of soup with someone you love is better than steak with someone you hate (Proverbs 15:17).

7. If you have a choice between making yourself or your mate look good, choose your mate.
     Do not withhold good from those who deserve it when it's in your power to help them (Proverbs 3:27).

8. If they're breathing, your mate will eventually offend you. Learn to forgive.
     I am warning you, if another believer sins, rebuke him; then if he repents, forgive him. Even if he wrongs  
     you seven times a day and each time turns again and asks forgiveness, forgive him (Luke 17:3,4).

9. Don't use faith, the Bible, or God as a hammer.
     God did not send His Son into the world to condemn it, but to save it (John 3:17).

10. Let love be your guidepost.
        Love is patient and kind. Love is not jealous or boastful or proud or rude. Love does not demand its
        own way. Love is not irritable and it keeps no record of when it has been wronged (1 Cor. 13:4,5)

Life’s Truths

1. 'I've learned that no matter what happens, or how bad it seems today, life does go on, and it will be better tomorrow.'

2. 'I've learned that you can tell a lot about a person by the way he/she handles these three things: a rainy day, lost luggage, and tangled Christmas tree lights.'

3. 'I've learned that regardless of your relationship with your parents, you’ll miss them when they're gone from your life.'

4. 'I've learned that making a 'living' is not the same thing as 'making a life.'

5. 'I've learned that life sometimes gives you a second chance.'

6. 'I've learned that you shouldn't go through life with a catcher's mitt on both hands; you need to be able to throw some things back...'

7. 'I've learned that whenever I decide something with an open heart, I usually make the right decision.'

8. 'I've learned that even when I have pains, I don't have to be one.'

9. 'I've learned that every day you should reach out and touch someone. People love a warm hug, or just a friendly pat on the back.'

10. 'I've learned that I still have a lot to learn..'

11. 'I've learned that people will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel.

Laughter the best Medicine

 Documented research has proved that laughter has enormous benefits on one’s physical, mental and emotional health. It is more than just a physical response. It is a great workout that boosts the immune system & increases circulation.

Scientific studies show that laughter has positive effects on the heart, blood vessels, stress hormones, mental health and family relationships. These health benefits of laughter all contribute to smoother overall functioning, which in turn speeds injury healing.

Laughter Prescription: Recommended Dosage:  10 minutes of Laughter Daily

• Share your Smile! laugh & the world laughs with you--doesn't it?

• Look for Good News even in the smallest .Not Bad News (which is there without you searching for it).

• Play, Laugh and have Fun with the People in Your Life, especially Children.

• Access more Humour - TV, movies, DVDs,videos,and Internet or just friends.

• Learn to be an Optimist (every cloud has a silver lining yaar).

• Exercise Your Sense of Humour,by seeing the funny side of everything

• Learn to Laugh at Yourself --why give that pleasure to others :).

• Use Humour to De-Stress-- it will perk you up.

• Find a Laughter Club & do Laughter Yoga!--if all else fails

At the end of the day if you can't make yourself happy,how can you make anyone else happy?
Life is too short to waste in crying over spilt milk.

Memories

We do not remember days; we remember moments

Memory is a way of holding onto the things you love, the things you are, the things you never want to lose.Memory... is the diary that we all carry about with us; every man's memory is his private literature.
Memories are forever, even if the people who help make them have to leave

Memories are funny things
They jump at you with odd timings
They link the past & present
They at times make us resent

At times they are as soft as a dove
At times they fill us with love
Some things u think u have forgotten
Reverberate in Ur brain like a baton

A childhood is what anyone wants to remember of it. A whiff here, a sound there & we are transported to those days, seeing in our minds eye the place, person, and situation— rosier than it was. Things that were hard to bear are sweet to remember.

The past is never dead, it is not even past. The sense of smell can be extraordinarily evocative, bringing back pictures as sharp as photographs of scenes that had left the conscious mind

Life is a rough biography. Memories smooth out the edges.Nothing fixes a thing so intensely in the memory as the wish to forget it. The difference between false memories and true ones is the same as for jewels: it is always the false ones that look the most real, the most brilliant.

It's surprising how much memory is built around things unnoticed at the time; I’m always fascinated by the way memory diffuses fact.

"Old things are more beautiful, than many things brand new
Because they bring fond memories of things we used to do."
"I treasure sweet old memories as time goes swiftly by.
A few bring smiles of happiness and some tears to the eye."
The music stops, and yet it echoes on in sweet refrains...

For every joy that passes, something beautiful remains.....

Being Judgemental vs Forgiving

We are so eager & quick to think & assume a negative in attitude,manner,character,intention etc.. in others:

1) She did not return my call--just has no manners
2) He did not comment on my cooking--he does not like me
3) She did not ask me about my day--she does not love me
4) Why should i talk to her first? she was the one to begin the fight
5)  I won't say sorry first,he should say it  etc.. etc...

We not only assume but we think up imaginary rebuffs or even small actual ones & hold it in our hearts for ages--making us unhappy & changing our attitudes making the opposite party sad too.

At times even actual fights or harsh conversations are remembered & aired out during fights or conversations later,increasing the rift & widening the breach.

We have all heard the following sayings:
1)People living in glass houses should not throw stones
2)Matthew 7:1--“Stop judging that YOU may not be judged;
                  7:2-- for with what judgment YOU are judging, YOU will be judged
3)A bad workman blames his tools.
4)As you sow, so shall you reap
5)We cannot see our own back
  6)Let he who has not sinned cast the first stone
  7)Stop judging others & you will not be judged--no one likes to be judged & who  
      are we to judge???
Many more such as the above have been repeatedly used since centuries
Though we realise the truth of it we think it is meant for others never ourselves

We are unhappy throughout our lives as we entangle ourselves in these and other hurts to such an extent that we always remember them & thus we give them a renewed opportunity to hurt us again.

The way out is simple but very very difficult,for it involves--forgiveness.
Forgiveness is not forgetting an injustice done; it is the understanding that allows us to set aside the emotional impact of that injustice pertaining to ourselves.when we no longer hold these emotions,and have understanding for that person, we have forgiven them.

Forgiving others is a gift you give yourself.It is the key to happiness.Forgiveness is a funny thing it warms the heart & cools the sting.The weak can never forgive.It is the attribute of the strong

Always forgive your enemies.Nothing annoys them more :):)

An eye for an eye will make the whole world blind.
At the end of it all--It's your life. You may choose to live it any way that you want...
REMEMBER & KEEP ON HURTING YOURSELF OR FORGIVE( others as well as yourselves & your parents) & LIVE IN PEACE & HAPPINESS.

The Greatest Teacher on Earth ( so says a granny)

He teaches you patience
He teaches you unflagging love
He teaches you to sleep peacefully even in high commotion
He teaches you to smile even as you fall
He teaches you to savour even the most tastless dishes
He teaches you the benefit of erratic movements
He teaches you to share with love
He teaches you to give unstintingly
He teaches you to absorb & learn at every step

He teaches you to look good in any clothes,even diapers
He teaches you to make your demands known
He teaches you to vent your protests
He teaches you not to hold any grudges
He teaches you to enjoy each moment.
All this without speaking a word

Who is this great teacher you ask
He is your very own little tike
Your little God sent gift & blessing

We as adults have forgotten the real values and joys in simple things which he/she can teach us,all we need to do is keep our hearts and mind open like them.

Expectations

1.Wives should listen to everything their husbands say & act accordingly.WHY?
1.Husbands don't think that the wives have any intelligence.She is equally qualified to take serious decisions of life. WHY?
#.Can't a compromise be reached where both have equal say in running their homes & lives?

2.She is not the same person I married.She has changed into a demanding shrew.WHY?
2.He has changed,he does not love me & never listens to me. WHY?
#.Are you both still the same people as before marriage?Do you still give each other flowers & love notes like earlier?

3.My children are disobedient & are secretive about their lives.WHY?
3.Our parents are dictators,they want to rule our lives completely,never listening to our likes & opinions.WHY?
#.Do either of you have the patience & way of communicating with an open mind to understand their individuality?

4.Our child wants to do everything his way.We are more experienced & better able. WHY?
4.My old parents should keep out of making decisions,as I am capable of doing it.WHY?

#.Isn't it time to let go & on the other hand take advise.

5.My colleagues don't keep me in the loop of the office grapevine of changes taking place.WHY?
#.Do you interact without sounding condescending.Do you appreciate them?

Bottom line--The more you expect the deeper the hurtof unfulfillment.If you don't expect --any return you get will be like "manna from heaven" giving unexpected joy & fulfillment.

KARAM KARO PHUL KI ICHHA MAT KARO.

Surviving vs Living --( A glass half full or half empty- u decide)

 I choose to live life--I decided this nearly at the end of my life for it was very late in life that i understood the difference between surviving & living

Surviving and living seem like they mean the same thing but think about it.

To “survive life”--- is like a statue frozen in its experience-- when we pass from one day to the next slogging without knowing why or caring for anything.It seems like a drudgery.

To Survive is to be in existence - heart beating, lungs breathing, to physically be alive.You survive an earthquake,hurricane katrina,war etc --all destructive.

To “live life”--- is like the vibrant flowers that make you notice their existence.-- like enjoying what you are doing,even though it is repetitive, we still can get up each day looking forward to what the day holds for us.With a surety that each day is unique in itself.

To Live is to be passionate about and enjoy life for all it has to offer.

We will all have events that happen in our lives. These events can be as simple as a traffic jam or as big as a health issue.We have a choice on how we react to these events.--with anger, depression,grumbling or with asmile on our faces and joy in our heart.Our reaction will then determine the outcome in our lives.

I heard of a lady who had a terminal disease with very few chances of being cured,but she said,"I have a choice. I can choose to let this limit me or I can choose to live life. I choose to live life!”

What a great attitude! We all have a choice in life….

Don’t just go through the motions in life, Embrace, Enjoy and Feel Life for all it has to offer!

And this does mean the good with the bad experiences.The troubled times are necessary in order for us to rise above, grow to a better place and a better life!

So open your minds and make the choice to live life fully instead of just surviving.

25 REASONS I OWE MY MOTHER ( :) very tongue in cheek)

For all the mothers out there who swore they'd never be like their mothers...

25 REASONS I OWE MY MOTHER

1. My mother taught me TO APPRECIATE A JOB WELL DONE.
         "If you're going to kill each other, do it outside. I just finished cleaning."

2. My mother taught me RELIGION.
          "You better pray that will come out of the carpet."

3. My mother taught me about TIME TRAVEL .
          "If you don't  straighten up, I'm going to knock you into the middle of next week!"

4. My mother taught me LOGIC.
          " Because I said so, that's why."

5. My mother taught me MORE LOGIC.
          "If you fall out of that swing and break your neck, you're not going to the store with me."

6. My mother taught me FORESIGHT.
          "Make sure you wear clean underwear, in case you're in an accident."

7. My mother taught me IRONY
          "Keep crying, and I'll give you something cry about."

8. My mother taught me about the science of OSMOSIS.
          "Shut your mouth and eat your supper."

9. My mother taught me about CONTORTIONISM.
           "Will you look at that dirt on the back of your neck!"

10. My mother taught me about STAMINA.
             "You'll sit there until all that spinach is gone."

11. My mother taught me about WEATHER.
            "This room of yours looks as if a tornado went through it."

12. My mother taught me about HYPOCRISY.
             "If I told you once, I've told you a million times. Don't exaggerate!"

13. My mother taught me the CIRCLE OF LIFE.
            "I brought you into this world, and I can take you out."

14. My mother taught me about BEHAVIOR MODIFICATION.
            "Stop acting like your father!"

15. My mother taught me about ENVY.
            "There are millions of less fortunate children in this world who don't have wonderful parents like you do."

16. My mother taught me about ANTICIPATION
             "Just wait until we get home."

17. My mother taught me about RECEIVING .
            "You are going to get it when you get home!"

18. My mother taught me MEDICAL SCIENCE.
            "If you don't stop crossing your eyes, they are going to freeze that way."

19. My mother taught me ESP.
            "Put your sweater on; don 't you think I know when you are cold?"

20. My mother taught me HUMOR .
            "When that lawn mower cuts off your toes, don't come running to me."

21. My mother taught me HOW TO BECOME AN ADULT.
            "If you don't eat your vegetables, you'll never grow up."

22. My mother taught me GENETICS.
            "You're just like your father."

23. My mother taught me about my ROOTS .
            "Shut that door behind you. Do you think you were born in a barn?"

24. My mother taught me WISDOM.
             "When you get to be my age, you'll understand."

25. And my favorite: My mother taught me about JUSTICE
             "One day you'll have kids, and I hope they turn out just like you!"

Pot of Gold

Vibgyor has a pot of gold

So we've always been told
We slog & find untruth unfold
Leaving our minds out cold

Did the world fool us?
       Or did we fool ourself?
      About all the hype & fuss
      Needed to prove our worthy self
    
     Whatever be the reason
     The outcome is serene
      We find ourself not in a prison
      But with means unforeseen

So stop all the quibbling
About love's labour lost
Go out into the world, dribbling
Without minding the cost

The same labour then
Will seem like a tuppence
For when we see our den
The rainbow will seem hence
    
    

Musical Melodies

Poems,rhymes.lyrics,limerics

 
Songs,tunes,hymns,psalms
Each is a version of a melody
Running through our hearts & soul

Each touches a chord
Each is the outpouring of our emotions
Each connects us with the Almighty

Each has a language of its own

Each we say is a gift of God

Some we understand

Some we don't

Some we criticise

Some we love

But all are remembered & preserved for aeons to come

Why then do we throw out from our homes

The physical manifestations of  Almighty's blessings

Our parents,children,siblings,pets

In old age homes,roadsides or orphanages?

Aren't they divine musical melodies too?

Heritage

What is our Heritage?

 Heir looms? books? property?
If we are materialistic,all the above is what we would reply

If philosophical,then values,culture,nature
Would be our answer

If realistic or logical we would say
Our Heritage is the ability to live & let live

Each time we get a variety of answers
The problem starts when each one of us thinks himself correct & the other wrong

Each forgets one vital fact
All the above answers would only make sense if Humanity & Humans survived
So for me our Heritage is Humanity
What do you say?

A Universal Prayer ( sent to me by my daughter)

Dear God:
The lady reading this
Is beautiful, classy and strong,
And I love her.
Help her live her life to the fullest.


   Please promote her &
   Cause her to excel above her expectations.
   Help her shine in the darkest places
   Where it is impossible to love.
   Protect her at all times,
   Lift her up when she needs you the most,
   Let her know when she walks with you,
      That she will always be safe.

Love you Girl!!!!

Apron Strings

"Go my child",said God "I have sent my representative on earth,you will call her mom"
All children have heard this, most times it seems true as the apron strings are nurturing and protective.
At times when the kids want to move on in life the very same apron strings seem more like a hangman's noose, as parents are unwilling to loosen their hold on the kids especially their sons--who are their "kuldeepak" or a means to carry on the family name.
At such times the son becomes a soft target to be emotionally blackmailed,to continue to stay with his parents, who are unwilling, due to insecurity or unwillingness to give up and let go of their authority on his life.

I'm sure such a situation ends up pulling the son in both ways--one towards his wife who wants his time for herself and their own new family,which otherwise can be suffocated--and on the other his mom/dad who don't want to let go.
The son can clearly demarcate each loved ones hold on his time and life area,if he is wise enough.

I have witnessed such a situation from close quarters & can say in all honesty that this is a dismal and suffocating life for all involved.
If only people realised that you can love and foster and still be close knit if you let go and give all the participants breathing space--we all need to recognise each others needs & give each other his or her own private space,for doing so will not break off the loved one --rather it will bring him/her more closer with a lot more respect & love
for as the saying goes "To test love--you should let it go--if they love you-- they will come back" & i'm sure with a lot more intensity than before.

Wishes & Dreams

Are wishes the same as dreams?

Are dreams the same as wishes?

Is each a representative of the other?
 

Can one replace the other?

Does dream replicate an unfulfilled wish?

Or is it vice versa?

Both give us hope

Making our hardwork seem fulfilling

Making us look forward to the morrow

Giving us a reason to get up and go

Each fills us with desire

Each holds us in its grip

Night & day filling us with a fire

Till our last breadth

Staying with Parents

The indians today no matter where they are have this to say about staying at home with their parents:

1. “I have no choice to stay outside my home in Kolkata. But at home you can stay like a non-paying guest and you have the facilities of a five-star hotel.” which i feel is self centered --more like a sugar coated pill & more interested in being looked after rather than looking after the parents in their old age.

2. Even married couples prefer to stay with parents because it is “cosy” they say.“You only give a lump sum amount at the beginning of every month and your elders take care of everything else, right from managing the cook to household shopping. Why do you need a separate home, when everything is being managed so methodically by elders? After all they are more experienced.”--again the same as above--isnt it like using the parents as housekeepers?

3. “In our society, a young man or woman still look upto their parents, close relatives and teachers as role models. When parents are caring they get a refuge in them and feel secure in staying with them. That is why young Indians still prefer to stay with their parents.”-- this seems a bit more caring & giving the parents their due.

4. “Some of my friends in India, who are into well paid jobs, say that they are envious of my NRI status, whereas I tell them that I’m envious of their status and parental home, which no NRI can buy,” -- there speaks a true judge of what one gains or looses staying seperate.

5. “The adult-kids today are intelligent enough. Though most of them are more exposed to television and media culture, yet it is quite easy for them to understand that the people on TV are prettier, richer, smarter, wittier, healthier and happier than most of their parents, but unfortunately, they aren’t real. So they still rely on their parents as the ultimate refuge. Your parents are still a refuge even if they are poor, less successful in life or if they don’t have a pretty good bank balance.”--this seems to look at life with reality glasses on.

All opinions aside I would like to tell one and all,that parents who were there for you throughout your life, don't really need a looking after--all they need is to feel that they are still a part of your lives & this can be achieved in various different ways--of which staying with them is a very minor part which is not really necessary, the same closeness can be achieved by frequent visits,calls,family vacations.

If truth be told they at this age after fulfilling all their responsibilities want a peaceful life of their own & like I said all they need is to feel that they are still a part of your lives,to feel happy,fulfilled & needed.