26 June 2010

LETTING GO!!

      


           


To Let Go does not mean to stop caring,it means I can't do it for someone else.
To Let Go is not to cut myself off,it is the realization I can't control another.
To Let Go is not to enable,but to allow learning from natural consequences.
To Let Go is to admit powerlessness,which means the outcome is not in my hands.
To Let Go is not to try to change or blame another,it is to make the most of myself.
To Let Go is not to care for,but to care about.
To Let Go is not to fix,but to be supportive.
To Let Go is not to judge,but to allow another to be a human being.
To Let Go is not to be in the middle arranging all the outcomes,but to allow others to affect their destinies.
To Let Go is not to be protective,it is to permit another to face reality.
To Let Go is not to deny,but to accept.
To Let Go is not to nag, scold, or argue,but instead to search out my own shortcomings and correct them.
   To Let Go is not to adjust everything to my desires,but to take each day as it comes,and cherish myself in it.
   To Let Go is not to criticize and regulate anybody,but to try to become what I dream I can be.
   To Let Go is not to regret the past,but to grow and live for the future.
   To Let Go is to fear less,and love more.













25 May 2010

Love....? Diverse yet similar





The other day I saw “27 dresses” which had this dialogue:-“Love is patient, love is kind, love means slowly losing your mind!”…..& it got me thinking….
 They say, love is blind, and I agree, love is blind and dumb! like a philosopher once said, "it is impossible to love and be wise at the same time"
 A philosopher once defined the difference between life and love," life is just one fool thing after another, love is just two fool things after each other"
Einstein once said, "Gravitation cannot be held responsible for people falling in love" He had even worked out a relationship between love and relativity, he said," put your hand on a hot stove for a min and it seems like an hour, sit with a pretty girl for an hour and it seems like a minute, that' relativity!"
Being in love is like being in a state of anaesthesia in an O.T, you speak nonsense and you make funny gestures which no one understands but everyone is amused.
The famous actor Woody Allen has described love in a way which is quite difficult to comprehend and understand, obviously enough, he said it when he was apparently in love.
 He said, " to love is to suffer, to avoid suffering, one must not love, but then one suffers from not loving, therefore to love is to suffer, but suffering makes one unhappy, therefore to be unhappy, one must love or love to suffer or suffer from too much happiness" these are Woody Allen's words which only a person in love can understand, so if you think you understood his words, then guess what, you are already suffering from love!
Love is, in fact, a proof that experience is of no use because the end of one love does not prevent us from beginning another and so some of us have the tendency of falling in love again and again and making a mockery of themselves. they say, "love is like fire" sure it is like fire, but whether it is going to warm our heart or burn your house down, you can never tell.
Now we have another kind of love...one which is an umbrella...enveloping everything & therefore it touches the spiritual realm
The actual quote is from the bible... 
"Love is patient; love is kind; love is not envious or boastful or arrogant or rude. It does not insist on its own way; it is not irritable or resentful; it does not rejoice in wrongdoing, but rejoices in the truth. It bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things". 1 Corinthians 13:4-7
Both are very diverse & yet so similar.....in the fact that each requires you to be present in that moment...heart, mind & soul  & that too selflessly.


21 May 2010

Troubled Teens

Much has been written about the period of adolescence. This is a time when an child begins to question the value systems of his family and society and strives to form his own opinions. It is a time of great confusion and upheaval because he has thrown away the old values and has not completely formed the new ones. Parents often become shaken when they see their teenage son on daughter begin to question the values that he or she grew up with. Parents should not worry. In fact they can feel relieved that their child is beginning to become his or her own person.

Relationships between parents and children are complex. When we are young we take for granted everything that is done for us. We don't appreciate what our parents do, rather we expect it. When we reach adolescence, not only do we not appreciate our parents' role, rather we are in open rebellion with them and everything they stand for. It is only as adults, when we realize the extent of the complex choices that our parents made, that we begin to feel gratitude to our parents.


A teens struggle for independence.
They Don't Understand
I'm confused about life,it seems like no one understands me
especially my parents,they try to run my life & me
they don't understand,my life's my own to run
they can't run it,it  has no fun
it seems we live in different worlds , & different times,
Don’t they know the more they try to control ,rebellion climbs Parents think they get us...but they don't have a clue,
They don’t know all the things peer pressure can do,
They don't know about all the rumors and lies,
They don't know about how our hope slowly dies,
Parents don't understand our thoughts and dreams,
All they see are our bad thoughts and endless schemes,
Take the time to get to know and love me,
Cause I look up to you... I do what I see,
What will it take for you to see
I'm just trying to be 18, chill out, and be me
Now I'm at that age of feelings and raging hormones

how can I be comfortable & have fun if you don't trust me or make me a clone
So, right now just for you…I'm willing to do whatever I need to do
Let's start off right ,you trust me again & don’t sue
Erase everything let's start off clean
Gain the love.respect & happiness we can glean


A Parents feelings
It seems like only yesterday,with a teardrop in my eye
That you were born into this world ,with a whimper and a cry
The days flew by and turned to weeks,& then years
And every time you learn something new,I get the same ol’ tears
I guess its cause you're growing up,but to me it's just too fast
I guess it's just that I'm afraid,your innocence won’t last
But as the years go stumbling by,one thing will remain true
You'll always be my baby girl,no matter what you do.

12 May 2010

Self Motivation.




Stop and ask yourself today, “How do I really feel about myself?”
Before you answer read these ten principles.Better yet, keep them before you daily.

(1) Never think or speak negatively about yourself; that puts you in disagreement with God.
(2) Meditate on your God-given strengths and learn to encourage yourself, for much of the time       nobody else will.
(3) Don’t compare yourself to anybody else. You’re unique, one of a kind, an original.So don’t      settle for being a copy.
(4) Focus on your potential, not your limitations.Remember,God lives in you!
(5) Find what you like to do, do well, and strive to do it with excellence.
(6) Have the courage to be different. Be a God pleaser,not a people pleaser.
(7) Learn to handle criticism. Let it develop you instead of discourage you.
(8) Determine your own worth instead of letting others do it for you.They’ll short-change you!
(9) Keep your shortcomings in perspective - you’re still a work of art, in progress.
(10) Focus daily on your greatest source of confidence - the God Who lives in you !

11 May 2010

Too Little Time

Too little time to make amends,for things that I have done.
Too little time to do the things,I've left unsaid, undone.
I always meant to tell my family,I felt that they were great!
Procrastination causes delay,until it is too late.
So now I try at every chance,when someone comes my way,
To beam a smile and say hello,it might just make his day.
With every effort that I make,I know at least I've tried.
Just helping people wear a smile,makes me feel warm inside





Things I’m Thankful for



I do not seek the grandiose, wealth nor glare of fame.
& when I'm gone, the odds are great, that few will know my name.
Though greatness I will not attain, I'll do the best I can
With just the skills that God gave me, for I'm a simple woman.


 I'm thankful for the mixture both, of happiness and pain,
Which lets me best appreciate, such goals that I attain.
I'm thankful for important things, that rate high in my life.
I'm thankful for my children, a loving, faithful husband and a stress-free life.


I thank God for the power of love, that makes the whole of our beings,
Eliminates the blight of hate--a threat to healthy souls.
I'm thankful that I still can hear, the songbird's throaty trill.
 
& colour change in autumn's leaves, each year gives me a thrill.



So I give thanks each day to God, for blessings from His hand.
I'm part of God's great Master Plan, even I, a simple woman.

Fear of Rejection


Why do we bare our souls, on the internet
To strange people, that we've never met
But to the other people, that we know
Our true feelings, we don't always show
I'm not a shrink, but it's plain to me
Why we open up, to people we can't see
Fear of rejection, from loved ones is always hard to take
But someone we don't know, it doesn’t a difference make.

Mothers Day Blessings to my 3 daughters




 
You're a beautiful person,so loving and giving
When you are wronged,you're quick at forgiving
You make me happy,by just being near
All I want in my life,is to tell you you’re dear

When God made you,he broke the mold
You mean more to me,than all the world's gold
Your quick witted humor,always makes me laugh
And you do nice things,on my behalf
I know for sure,you're one of a kind
Another like you,would be hard to find

29 April 2010

Adjustments /Compromises?


Why are we taught to “adjust” from day one of our life?
Is it for our own peace of mind or for keeping up a “peaceful front”?
Who wins or who suffers in these “adjustments”?
Do they really give us peace or maintain it ever?
Isn’t this what we call “hypocrisy”?
Haven’t we all suffered in silence due to our voices being crushed?

My generation still is unable to distinguish the difference & the impact
 I’m glad this trend is waning in the next generation
Though it does seem to bring in a rude shock to us, oldies
Our children seem to be outspoken & brash to us
For they do not “adjust” with anybody, not even their partners
They speak what they feel & ask for equal rights

Opening up avenues of dialogues & “willing compromises”
Bringing in the much needed happiness & self worthiness
Maintaining of equality & sharing seems much more tangible

23 April 2010

Freedom



O 2 B free!!!
Free from what u ask?
Why free 2 b "Me"
Free to wander if I please
Or stagnate on a bench on a crisp cool morning
Sipping a warm cup of coffee.

Free to read,sleep,snooze in front of the idiot box
Free to get up and go,on the spur of the moment
Or sit chatting without any idea of topics
Free to travel,or be a couch potato
Without any plan for tomorrow

R V free at any time in R lives?
If V crave freedom,
Why then do V bind ourselves
To R work,friends,family,society?

From infancy to youth & onward to old age
V R bound, hand & foot,in all R actions,thoughts & deeds
At times voluntarily but most times unknowingly
V revel in its grip & yet V crib
Wanting 2 B free,yet if V ever R, we R like lost sheep
Waiting 2 go back in the fold.

No wonder even the Gods get confused
V beg 4 a wish & getting it V get confused with what 2 do with it.

20 March 2010

Fear of the Unknown .....



Definition of Fear: “False evidence appearing real” or “Anxiety is a fear of the unknown”.
You would feel afraid of something that you are not sure is really going to happen. Fear can paralyze and trap you, especially in the face of tragedy, uncertainty and circumstances beyond your control.

We all fear or are anxious about many things as per our reasoning or mental attitude:

1. to go into dark places
2. to look down from great heights
3. to face a big audience
4. to face our interviewer
5. to face our parents at times
6. on our first day at school /college or work
7. even at times something smaller than us like a cat or dog

It is an endless list—worst of all is facing ourselves & our conscience when we know we have done something wrong. This being the worst as other fears when faced go away but self condemnation remains with us through our lives.

The one permanent emotion of the inferior man is fear – fear of the unknown, the complex, and the inexplicable. What he wants above everything else is safety, however if you Feed your faith your fears will starve to death. Doubt is the opposite of faith. It is a neutralizer of faith. It says a man who doubts is like a wave of the sea, blown and tossed by the wind. Imagine yourself as a big rock, or a lighthouse built on a rock, the waves beat the rocks constantly, but you stand strong and cannot be moved. Visualize your strength. The Moorish Proverb rightly says: “He who fears something gives it power over him.”

Sometimes when I have tough or unresolved situations to face, I wake up with an uncomfortable feeling in my belly. I was trying to figure out; what is doubt? How does it feel? Try this word picture. Doubt stinks, it is waste, you need to flush it, and when you are full of it you don't feel good until you let it out. I've learned to get to the toilet and it helps me feel better fast. Sometimes it is just gas in the belly. :)

The following scriptures are a sure shot,tried & personally testified  to overcome even our worst fears,any time day or night.

1) “The LORD is on my side; I will not fear: what can man do unto me?”
2) “For God hath not given us the spirit of fear; but of power, and of love, and of a sound mind”
3) “So that we may boldly say, The Lord is my helper, and I will not fear what man shall do unto me.”
4) “There is no fear in love; but perfect love casts out fear: because fear hath torment. He that fears is not
      made perfect in love.”
5) “The LORD is my light and my salvation; whom shall I fear? the LORD is the strength of my life; of
      whom  shall I be afraid?”
6) “When I am afraid, I will trust in you. In God, whose word I praise, in God I trust; I will not be afraid.
      What can mortal man do to me? “
7) “For God has not given us a spirit of fear and timidity, but of power, love, and self-discipline.”
8)”For He Himself has said, "I will never leave you nor forsake you." So we may boldly say: "The LORD is
    my helper; I will not fear. What can man do to me?"


17 March 2010

Share A Smile





“Smiling is infectious; you can catch it like the flu. Someone smiled at me today, and I started smiling too.If you would like to spoil the day for a grouch, give him a smile...”

A smile:-
1. Is a curve that sets everything straight.
2. Is an inexpensive way to change your looks.
3. Is a powerful weapon; you can even break ice with it.
4. Is a language that even a baby understands.
5. Of encouragement at the right moment may act like sunlight on a closed-up 
     flower; it may be the turning point for a struggling life.
            6. Slowly lights up your face and spreads its magic in your twinkling eyes
7. Takes seventeen muscles to smile and forty-three to frown.

Have we forgotten to smile as often as we used to do earlier? Do we genuinely smile nowadays? All of us seem to carry a scowl on our face rather than a smile. When was the last time you had a hearty laugh?

Ask yourself this question and you will be surprised at the answers.

We have forgotten the benefits of a good smile, keeping instead a stern look on our face in order to look more in control and present a professional face to the world.

Look at the mirror when you smile and your will see your eyes lit up. We have forgotten to smile at our loved ones, our neighbors, friends, colleagues and strangers. Smile is an infectious emotion and when you see a smiling face around your natural instinct is to smile back.

The world would be a much better place if we can spread the smile,so how does one start spreading this unique and loving message across the world?

Let us start with ourselves. As soon as you wake up look at the mirror and give yourself a warm and happy smile and then the spread it around with your loved ones, your neighbors and colleagues. Once you have mastered to do it daily try to spread it among strangers. Try smiling at people who you see daily at your work or while travelling.

You will be surprised at the magic of your smile. People who had never acknowledged your presence will suddenly turn friendly. Slowly a chain reaction will start where everyone you meet greets you with a smile and the scowl is totally forgotten.

On an average we could smile at 10-20 people every day. These 10-20 people could meet a further 100-200 and this chain of smile will continue unbroken.

Wow!!! Why wait for someone to do this, lets begin asap & give & receive joy—free of cost.

16 March 2010

The Urge to Express Yourself – Self Expression




How often have our creative selves been swept to the side, making us an observer rather than a producer of creative projects? We internalize the belief that we don’t have what it takes to make it big;like I always wanted to write but was hesitant about it; and of course we don’t make it because we have hardly tried. The desire for self-expression afflicts people when they feel there is something of themselves which is not getting through to the outside world. Expression of one's own personality, feelings, or ideas, as through speech or art:
One day I realised that our lives begin to end the day we become silent about things that matter.--the reason for the inherent urge of self expression.
“If I could say it in words there would be no reason to paint.”--says a painter
“Music expresses that which cannot be put into words and that which cannot remain silent.”--says a musician
Self-observation brings man to the realization of the necessity of self-change. And in observing myself I noticed that self-observation itself brought about certain changes in my inner processes. So self-observation is for me an instrument of self-change, a means of awakening.

 The freedom we are looking for is the freedom to be ourselves, to express ourselves. There are thousands of causes for stress, and one antidote to stress is self-expression. That's what happens to me every day. My thoughts get off my chest, and onto my pad.

I believe that creative expression, whether through daily creativity or through making art, is worth the effort. As it contributes to a richer life.

The benefits & highs that creativity brings & adds to our life can be summed up in the following few lines:-

1. sense of time. Countless artists have discussed the experience of timelessness that one encounters in the creative zone. I feel like I'm in limbo when I'm writing,tiredness,time etc all is forgotten.
But we moan about not having enough time to even get into the flow. Strangely enough, when you give time to creative pursuits, you gain time. Who couldn’t use the feeling of more time?

2. Freedom. Creativity invites messiness and exploration. Here’s an opportunity to return to that feeling of freedom such as we experienced in childhood. We didn’t have to know, didn’t have to be ‘good’, be in control, be the expert and not care about being right or looking good?--I bet not since infancy...

3. Enhanced relationships. Many people fear that if they begin doing their creative work, their relationships and other priorities will suffer.
But when we are actively creating, we feel better about our relationships. We tend to be more generous to others. We have more to give because we have answered our urge to create. We forgive & forget more easily,always wanting to do our best--like when in a new relationship with another human being......we dress well,listen patiently,smile more often,shower gifts...

4. Living integrity. When we are actively working on our projects, we honor our innate creativity. This feels better than wishing we were writing, or talking about writing, but not doing it.

5. Save money. :) Expressing yourself can control the urge to impulse buy. Do you ever find yourself shopping out of boredom? Expressing yourself creatively can often fill the need to impulse shop.
Save money and do something creative instead of buying something you don’t really need or want. Wow...specially in these financial crunch times.

6. Energetic Call it a good mood,a natural high. When we’ve done our creative work, we gain energy for our other responsibilities. I think this is the best reason to create – it feels ummmh!..so good!
Forget TV, overeating, over-sugaring or drinking and tap the true source of your vitality.Wish I had earlier..I wouldn't have been so obese :) :)

7. Connection with other creative people. When we are creating, we are connected to those who work in the challenging but rewarding field of artistic creativity.

8. Faith and confidence in our impulses. When we create, we recognize that our work does matter even if it is not published, displayed or presented to the public. We trust our instincts and gain confidence from expressing them. This confidence carries over into decisions we make in other areas of life.

9. Honoring the source of creative ideas. Where does creative inspiration come from? Some think it is God, or other divine source. We honor the gift of creative inspiration when we listen and act on our ideas, and by doing so, we are connecting to a deeper wisdom than our own.

10. Self-knowledge and discovery.  As we create, we plumb the depths of our being, accessing what we think and believe. You may be surprised at the resources, thoughts and impulses that you discover there.

"Continue to be yourself because in the end that's what people will remember about you"

13 March 2010

Check whether you are a good Listener



Take the test presented here to determine if you're losing it or not. The spaces below are so you don't see the answers until you've made your answer. OK, relax, clear your mind, and begin.
Answer immediately the first answer you think of--no cheating......


1. What do you put in a toaster?

2. Say "silk" five times. Now spell "silk." What do cows drink?

3. If a red house is made from red bricks and a blue house is made from blue bricks and a pink house is made from pink bricks and a black house is made from black bricks, what is a green house made from?

4. It's twenty years ago, and a plane is flying at 20,000 feet overGermany (If you will recall, Germany at the time was politically divided into West Germany and East Germany .) Anyway, during the flight, TWO engines fail. The pilot, realizing that the last remaining engine is also failing, decides on a crash landing procedure. Unfortunately the engine fails before he can do so and the plane fatally crashes smack in the middle of "no man's land" between East Germany and West Germany . Where would you bury the survivors? ,West Germany , East Germany  or no man's land?

5. Without using a calculator - You are driving a bus from London to Milford Haven in Wales ; In London, 17 people get on the bus; In Reading, six people get off the bus and nine people get on ; In Swindon, two people get off and four get on ; In Cardiff, 11 people get off and 16 people get on ; In Swansea, three people get off and five people get on ; In Carmathen, six people get off and three get on. You then arrive at Milford Haven. What was the name of the bus driver?

Answers:-
Q1.--Answer: "bread."
If you said "toast," give up now and do something else. Try not to hurt yourself. If you said, bread, go to question 2.

Q2.--Answer: Cows drink water.
If you said "milk," don't attempt the next question. Your brain is over-stressed and may even overheat. Content yourself with reading a more appropriate literature such as Auto World. However, if you said "water", proceed to question 3.

Q3.--Answer: Greenhouses are made from glass.
If you said "green bricks," why are you still reading these? If you said "glass," go on to Question 4.

Q4.--Answer: You don't bury survivors.
If you said ANYTHING else, you're a dunce and you must stop. If you said, "You don't bury survivors", proceed to the next question.

Q5.--Answer: Oh, for crying out loud! Don't you remember your own name? It was YOU!!


So guys had fun? I did especially quizzing the trainees I trained in my career with such brainers.
Are u as good a listener as you thought u were? I am not.
Lets remember that listening & listening well & correctly is the more important part of communicating well.
Here's to a good conversation & communication

12 March 2010

Saying it Appropriately -- to maximize the effect



Have u heard of a blind beggar who was begging at a street corner on a hot summers day?
Many people passed him by, not giving him even a penny
A man came by & read the placard near the beggar,it said:
"I am Blind"
The man rubbed it off & wrote something else & walked away
Soon the people passing by started showering coins in the beggars bowl
By evening the bowl was overflowing
The beggar heard the footsteps of the man who had stopped by earlier & called out
"what was it u wrote on my placard?"
The man replied,"I wrote the truth,so that all could realise it"
I wrote"Today is a beautiful day,you can see it---- but I can't"

So you see friends-- speaking the truth is the right thing,but speaking the truth so that people realise it too is  more essential.
Communicating appriopriately should be developed,infact it is like "a sugar coated pill",wherein the bitter truth is subtely understood not hurting or hitting anyone in the eye thus maintaining the dignity of the reader & keeping our relationship open with him.
This does not give any place to sarcasm or bad blood.

Happiness




You can't buy  happiness,cause happiness is free.
It's there for you and me,and for anybody who wants to see

What you do with what you've got, can change the way you feel.

Just do your best and smile a lot, will make being happy a steal

 I realised that the best things are given free

As air,water,food,earth wait for us to realise it & see

        Can you buy,make or destroy
       A baby's smile?
    A snowflake in the sky?
    A rosy apple on a tree?
    A gurgling brook?
    A clover scented soft breeze?
    A sunrise & sunset filled with glorious colors?

Why then not accept that our mind is too

A part of the same God gifted treasures
And happiness is all around us
In things great & small
Waiting for us to open our hearts
For it to walk in & take hold of our lives completely

'Cause happiness is made for YOU,just take a step & see

For happiness is what you do,with something that is free.

10 March 2010

An Ode to Mothers & Fathers

Universal Truths:-


  1. "Some mothers are kissing mothers and some are scolding mothers, but it is love just the same, and most mothers kiss and scold together." ~Pearl S. Buck
  2. The moment a child is born, the mother is also born. She never existed before. The woman existed, but the mother, never. A mother is something absolutely new.
  3. Grown doesn't mean nothing to a mother. A child is a child. They get bigger, older, but grown? What's that suppose to mean? In my heart it doesn't mean a thing. -- a universal truth all moms know & believe.
  4. A man's work is from sun to sun, but a mother's work is never done
  5. No one in the world can take the place of your mother. Right or wrong, from her viewpoint you are always right. She may scold you for little things, but never for the big ones.
  6. "God could not be everywhere, so he created mothers." -- a truth beleved by all
  7. The best conversations with mothers always take place in silence, when only the heart speaks.
  8. "In politics, if you want anything said, ask a man-if you want anything done, ask a woman." -Margaret Thatcher
  9. The thankless position of the father in the family... the provider for all, and the enemy of all.
  10. It is impossible to please all the world and one's father.
  11. By the time a man realizes that maybe his father was right, he usually has a son who thinks he's wrong.

 MOTHERS

 A Mother is one who understands the things you say and do
 Who always overlooks your faults and sees the best in you
 A Mother is one whose special love inspires you day by day.
 Who fills your heart with gladness in her warm and thoughtful way.
 A Mother is all these things and more - the greatest treasure known.
 A mother is someone who loves you who cares for you in every way
 She sits down and listens to what you have to say
 She always thinks your beautiful & never puts you down
 She always has a smile to wipe away your frown
 A mother is someone who believes in you always & pushes you to go far
 Tells you to believe in yourself no matter who you are
 A mother is like an angel although without the wings
 She tells you to enjoy life's most smallest things



FATHERS 

Fathers are wonderful people too, little understood,
And we do not sing their praises as often as we should...
 For, somehow, Father seems to be the man who pays the bills,
 While Mother binds up little hurts and nurses all our ills...
 And Father struggles daily to live up to "his image"
 As protector and provider and "hero of the scrimmage"...
 And perhaps that is the reason we sometimes get the notion,
 That Fathers are not subject to the thing we call emotion,

 But if you look inside Dad's heart,where no one else can see
 You'll find he's sentimental and as "soft" as he can be...
 But he's so busy every day in the grueling race of life,
 He leaves the sentimental stuff to his partner and his wife...
 But Fathers are just wonderful in a million different ways,
 And they merit loving compliments and accolades of praise,
 For the only reason Dad aspires to fortune and success
 Is to make the family proud of him and to bring them happiness...
 And like Our Heavenly Father,he's a guardian and a guide,
 Someone that we can count on to be always on our side.
   We call him ... Dad